advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-25-2010, 04:18 AM #1
Cblue Cblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 233
10 yr Member
Cblue Cblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 233
10 yr Member
Default What should I say?

The other day my father in law and i were talking about my foot and back probs. He does not know I am on SSDI for bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ocd..etc...anyway, we were talking and he kept saying that I should apply for SSDI...I brushed him off. I love him to bits, and I totally trust him, but he drinks now and again and I fear that telling him the truth would be dangerous because he may slip and my wicked mother in law would start trouble and tell everyone she knows within minutes...he kept pushing the issue, so I told him I had applied but was denied...well, initially I was...so I said I am in the appeal process....I hate to lie to my father in law, he is such a great person, but I can't tell him...what should I say when a year passes and he asks again? I know I have to lie and say I was denied..I guess I am just looking for confirmation that lying is the only way. Other suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcomed!
Cblue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-25-2010, 03:52 PM #2
smae's Avatar
smae smae is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 458
10 yr Member
smae smae is offline
Member
smae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 458
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cblue View Post
The other day my father in law and i were talking about my foot and back probs. He does not know I am on SSDI for bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ocd..etc...anyway, we were talking and he kept saying that I should apply for SSDI...I brushed him off. I love him to bits, and I totally trust him, but he drinks now and again and I fear that telling him the truth would be dangerous because he may slip and my wicked mother in law would start trouble and tell everyone she knows within minutes...he kept pushing the issue, so I told him I had applied but was denied...well, initially I was...so I said I am in the appeal process....I hate to lie to my father in law, he is such a great person, but I can't tell him...what should I say when a year passes and he asks again? I know I have to lie and say I was denied..I guess I am just looking for confirmation that lying is the only way. Other suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcomed!
I am not sure what to tell you, because if I were in your situation, I wouldn't lie. I'd just tell the truth. It's not really anyone else's business if you are on it or not, and why.

I know that some people get angry or jealous when they find out someone is on SSDI or SSI.. and a lot of people look down on those who get "a free ride from the government", even though that isn't what these programs are about.

I was just approved for SSI on Tuesday, and I am certainly not going to announce it to the world. However, I am not ashamed that I need help because my medical problems make it impossible for me to work right now.

I guess I'm not understanding why it would be so awful if it was spread around to "everyone". Yeah, it isn't their business--but what is the worst that can come of it?

I personally think that being honest is always the best solution... but if you feel that he absolutely cannot know, then I'd suggest trying to just avoid the topic or tell him that you don't wish to talk about it--rather than blatantly lie and say you have been denied. But, that's just my opinion. It is ultimately up to you--and I wish you the best.
__________________

.


♥ "Hope is more than a word; it's a state of being. It's a firm belief God will come through. Life brings rain... hope turns every drop into the power to bloom like never before." -Holley Gerth ♥

My name is Sarah and I am 25 years old. I have a lot of chronic health problems. Peripheral neuropathy and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) keep me bedridden the majority of the time. I also struggle with degenerative disc disease, disc desiccation, spondylolisthesis, arthritis, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) with insulin resistance, allergies, sound sensitivities, and other health problems.
smae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-25-2010, 04:38 PM #3
legalmania legalmania is offline
n/a
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The nicest and cleanest city in Georgia
Posts: 440
10 yr Member
legalmania legalmania is offline
n/a
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The nicest and cleanest city in Georgia
Posts: 440
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cblue View Post
The other day my father in law and i were talking about my foot and back probs. He does not know I am on SSDI for bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ocd..etc...anyway, we were talking and he kept saying that I should apply for SSDI...I brushed him off. I love him to bits, and I totally trust him, but he drinks now and again and I fear that telling him the truth would be dangerous because he may slip and my wicked mother in law would start trouble and tell everyone she knows within minutes...he kept pushing the issue, so I told him I had applied but was denied...well, initially I was...so I said I am in the appeal process....I hate to lie to my father in law, he is such a great person, but I can't tell him...what should I say when a year passes and he asks again? I know I have to lie and say I was denied..I guess I am just looking for confirmation that lying is the only way. Other suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcomed!
The Social Security Administration has found you sick. First I would tell your father in law the truth and ask him to let you tell your mother in law. Then I would tell her that you need her support right now because you are sick and fragile and to please not make you feel bad about yourself. I think it would be better for you if the truth comes out, because then you wouldn't have that extra stress in your life. If she calls you a liar and whatever just tell her you're praying for her and you forgive her. The bottom line is the government has found you ill and agrees you need help financially and physically right now. I'm sorry that part of your family doesn't support you and hope things get better for you in the future.
legalmania is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-25-2010, 08:45 PM #4
echoes long ago's Avatar
echoes long ago echoes long ago is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: new york
Posts: 1,586
15 yr Member
echoes long ago echoes long ago is offline
Senior Member
echoes long ago's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: new york
Posts: 1,586
15 yr Member
Default

i disagree with the above 2 posters. there is nothing to be gained by telling people you are on ssdi and nothing but aggravation to lose by not telling them. i have no trouble brushing people off if a topic is none of their business. Judging by the way you feel about your mother in law i would keep it to myself.
echoes long ago is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-25-2010, 09:23 PM #5
melek melek is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ellijay, Georgia
Posts: 74
15 yr Member
melek melek is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ellijay, Georgia
Posts: 74
15 yr Member
Default

I agree with Echoes....it is no ones business.
melek is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-27-2010, 09:54 AM #6
Shellback Shellback is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 116
10 yr Member
Shellback Shellback is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 116
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by melek View Post
I agree with Echoes....it is no ones business.
So do I. The less people who know, the better.
Shellback is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-27-2010, 10:00 AM #7
Cblue Cblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 233
10 yr Member
Cblue Cblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 233
10 yr Member
Default

Thanks guys...I am going to go with my gut...no ones business.
Cblue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-03-2010, 05:09 AM #8
Divinesunshine Divinesunshine is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1
10 yr Member
Divinesunshine Divinesunshine is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1
10 yr Member
Default

I wouldn't tell your FIL. What I would do is tell him you decide to take his advice and apply, waiting 4/mo or so and tell him you were approved for your back issues, not the psych issues. I think it is the easiest solution to your problem and then who cares if your MIL tells anybody. Good Luck with your decision!!!
Divinesunshine is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 01:34 PM #9
Hoosier_Daddy Hoosier_Daddy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 177
15 yr Member
Hoosier_Daddy Hoosier_Daddy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 177
15 yr Member
Default

I agree with the above post 100%. See I have had 6 knee surgeries over the past 2+ years. While I won for mental issues mainly I tell everyone it was from the knee. No one needs to know anything other than you or whomever you want to know.
Hoosier_Daddy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:25 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.