My husband and I have been married since 1971 we separated in 2008 but not legally,I applied for ssd and was approved due to health problems I receive a total of 805..00 a month pay rent somewhere else while him and his girlfriend are living in my house well they now have 2 children he is 62 yrs old and is applying for ssd also so am I to understand that he will get ssd for himself and checks for his children one is 4 yrs and the other is 6 months old his girlfriend works full time so will mean that with the 2 children as depentents and her working they will be living on his benefits and his dependents benefits and her work earnings they will be living on more than $2,000 a month more than I do since I get only$800.00 a month and we are still married is that fair,or am I entitled to any part of his ssd payments as his lawful wife still could someone please answer this for me I know it is a difficult question but I need to have some kind of help here.thank-you for taking your time also the house is paid for as his parents left it to us and we are both on the deed no mortgage payment to have to pay while I pay rent and for my upkeep out of my ssd because I did most of the working in the marriage and now he will live better than I ever did please help with an answer,
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Sounds like a complex issue, I would consult a lawyer. Divorce and division of assets might be something to consider.

Are you receiving SSI or SSDI?

Is he applying for SSI or SSDI?

Paying Social Security benefits has nothing to do with 'fairness' and everything to do with what the law allows.

You probably don't want to hear this, but you also had the choice of marrying a younger man who has a job and with kids (not sure of your age and yes, women have biological clocks that men don't have) so you could have been in the same situation as him and then possibly getting more money to live on each month.

Social Security will not pay you any of his benefits unless you can be entitled as his age 62 spouse, his age 60 widow or surviving divorced spouse, or as a young spouse who is taking care of his minor children. And then only if you can get more on his record than you can on your own. This new shackup honey can't be paid anything as a spouse since she is not. But she also does not owe you any money for your support. So her wages are a non-issue.

You could file for divorce or legal separation and see if the family court will order him to buy you out of the house you own jointly. Family court, divorce court is the venue that will consider the fairness of your situation. You need a divorce lawyer.

What about the children she had w/the OP husband? Are they entitled to any SS? I would think that they would if it's confirmed he's the daddy.

I agree with MoMike, you should consult with a lawyer.

I think your focus should be on processing a divorce and getting your fair share of any equity in the house or other marital assets.

I can understand being angry that he may have ended up being more financially comfortable than you, but if most of those assets are coming from his girlfriend and their kids, you have NO claim to that.

If he also gets something close to $800 a month, the 2 kids will get $200 a month each (that money is to be spent on THEM....and kids are expensive!) If the new girlfriend makes $1,000,000 a month, you have no claim to any of that.

If he had a high paying job and collects a monthly SSDI check of $4000 (Does anyone know what the maximum a SSDI check could be is ?), perhaps you could look for spousal support based on the difference between your $800 and his $4000, but if he maxes out on his SSDI, he must have had a healthy salary.......I'd wonder why you didn't look for spousal support based on that much earlier than now.

As you haven't mentioned trying to get spousal support from him before, I'm guessing that his income wasn't much above yours......and it's adding up the kid's portion of his possible SSDI and his girlfriend's income that are getting to you. If that's so, you will be better off trying to "let go" of the anger about the inequity.

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh. Just trying to get you primed to go after your legitimate share of any marital assets that there may be and not focus on/waste your energy on outside issues.

My situations has some similarities to your's. I am planning a divorce n
soon as my youngest will graduate from high school this year. We do have some assets, including our home, that will have to be divided. Unfortunately, my half of that won't be enough for me to buy the smaller ranch home that I would like for myself. My husband's retirement income is 2.5 times what my SSDI is......and he's only 55 and free to work another job if he want's more income. His dad just passed away and left assets including a $500,000 house (and I don't know how much cash) to my husband and his brother. That's not mine......and it shouldn't be. Am I bitter that I can't afford the modest home I want and he's going to move straight into a better house than our's and then splurge on a vacation condo in Florida ? Yup ! It's really not productive though.....I need to focus on hoping a divorce judge will believe that I deserve a more generous "split" of the assets, some spousal support, and adjusting my plan for what I'll be able to afford.

I absolutely understand that your situation is more dire. $800 a month is tight.

I would get in touch with a lawyer ASAP about filing for divorce to force the split of assets, namely that paid for house. Were there any other marital assets ? A lawyer can tell you if you hurt your claim on the house by leaving......and whether you live in a state that calls for an equal division (50/50) of assets.....or an equitable division of assets, which could be 50/50 or could be weighted more toward the larger wage earner or toward the more needy spouse. Supporting yourself for the last 8 years could hurt any potential claim for spousal support now (if his current income is much higher or if he also has retirement income)

Oh, I just had another thought. I don't mean to be indelicate or too intrusive, and you might not want to answer this here, just think on your options......if your monthly disability is SSI (for the disabled who are very low income and have minimal assets) or SSDI (disability insurance for those who have enough recent quarters paid in via taxes), or if you have Medicaid, section 8 housing, or any other benefits for the low income, even a small change in income/assets could have major effects on the benefits that you receive. That's more questions for the lawyer !

Best of luck to you nibbs

Are you referring to the OP's kids (if she had any) or the girlfriend's ?

Re nibbs.......I'm assuming (which of course had made a you know what of of me before !) that if she didn't leave him until the 37 year mark, any kids nibbs had with him are probably grown by now.

Re the girlfriend's......yes, they would be eligible for the family benefit under nibb's (possibly, stbx) husband, IF he gets SSDI. He just has to name them as his children with the SSA. It doesn't matter to the SSA that the kids were born out of wedlock. They only care about where to send the payments (which is accounts in the kid's names) and info about their benefits (which would go to their legal custodian....in this case, all in the same household)

I couldn't find anything on the SSDI website. However I did find this from another website:
Most SSDI recipients receive between $300 and $2,200. The average SSDI payment in 2013 is $1,132. The maximum disability benefit in 2013 is $2,533.
http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/how-much-in-ssd.html

Which you answered....
"If he also gets something close to $800 a month, the 2 kids will get $200 a month"

You found more specifics on the subject than I did !

IF he gets the max, $2533, that COULD be worth trying for spousal support on the difference between his $2533 and her $800. If he has just started the process though, he could be a long time from getting that $2533......and that's more time that hurts her claim for SS because she has been somehow supporting herself, without SS, since their separation.

Nibbs,

To spell it out, IF he had earned the max of $2533, then his 2 young kids would get ($2533 divided by 2 = $1266.5 max family benefit if the combo with his $2533 doesn't put him over the limit. $1266.5 divided by 2 for each kid = $633.25) $633.25 each per month. That total to their household income, like the girlfriend's possible salary, isn't something that you can "go after" for spousal support. Your position would just be for trying to equalize the difference between your $800 an his $2533.

Again, not to answer here, but for you to think about.....Was he making enough to maximize his SSDI income, over $115,000 per year ? If he was making that much, why didn't you go for SS before ? Your lawyer, and then the judge, will want to know that.

I hope you haven't cost yourself long term financial help from him by somehow struggling to make it on the $800. At least there is still the home equity marital split to pursue. Good luck !