I provided a link. If you read it, you would understand I was not suggesting that you have your children apply for disability, but rather that SS provides additional funds for a beneficiary's children and/or spouse caring for children. There is no requirement that the children be disabled, or receive treatment, and nor will the government tell you "how to raise them" anymore than a citizen not receiving benefits. The money needs to be spent on them and not on the other adults living with you, but that is not an unreasonable expectation. If you are unable to manage how the benefits are spent, a representative payee should be considered.

If you are unable to understand this information, than contact SS directly or an advocate. If you have a legitimate claim, your children could be entitled to substantial backpay.