(((Melody)))
I am beyond shocked that your landlord is being so very cruel!

It seems that SSA has closed "in person" visits to their locations during the pandemic and so that's likely why their phone lines are so busy.
I know they have a lot of options for completing stuff online there so maybe you could try that to notify them about Alan and that would also get you surviving spouse benefits coming.

Do you have any other family or close friends who can help you through all this Mel? Or some way of being connected with a community social worker?