good day

i posted a couple of days ago
and wondered where it went
found it
under a previous title
i believe ("going to the man")
don't know how the darn posting operates
someone please point out when i screw up, thanks
so i can pick up where i left off
i'll do my best
and anyone jump in when i'm doing something wrong
anyway
my experience has a message
and i don't want to confuse anyone
including myself
so i am continuing from last post (above)
OFF TO THE SURGEON:
my eldest, my advocate, was with me
i haven't heard or seen him i a while
no reply of all messages left for him
well yesterday went as i imagined it would
he couldn't answer 3/4 of the questions posed too him
i wouldn't stand for his lax of concern
when i asked "why didn't a red flag go up when i called
your office and made you aware of the difference in
size of my pupil with more detail of course"
that was over a month ago and some....
until i went and met with my pain management doctor
my eyes were behaving as i explained above
that's when he explained that i had Horners syndrome (pain doctor)
never, ever, not even after the first surgery
did i have this problem ever, NO!
i do wear glasses since 4th grade
therefore i look up close in the mirror
when i explained how upset i was but that he dismissed this very important concern
can anyone guess his suggestion?
go and see the eye doctor
it took everything i had in me not to let loose
i politely told him i never missed my eye doctors app.
because all of this other very important stuff, bull_ _ _ _ !
this was the only time in my life i had to put it off a bit
but my history will speak for itself, " i practice preventive care"
and trust me i have beautiful teeth one cavity in all my life
as i have been taking all this crappy EXPENSIVE MEDICINE
screwing with other body organs and teeth
does not sit well
I HOPE I COULD GET BACK UP ON THAT HORSE
AS EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT
i can't wait, i miss work
then i tell him, how he isn't listening
i tell him everything remains the same but worse
and i didn't understand how he let me go almost 3 days without pain meds
never again
i asked him how he felt about me going back
to see my pain doctor
and overrode him, relieving him of that responsibility
did not like it, didn't care
who knows?
when i told him of my ailments
he was speechless
my daughter began with her questions
"how much longer will you deem patient should have fused by now"
before you become concerned
we understand as per last X-RAY
I DID NOT FUSE "IT'S COMING ALONG"
"CAN'T SAY ANYTHING UNTIL I GET YET ANOTHER CAT SCAN"
i go on and tell i am so upset with all tests
that i was loosing my hair
nothing he could say
but wait the icing in the cake was how he tried throwing
his employee under the bus in reference of
a documented i needed for my employer
and in the manner he responded
i was fuming
until i heard the person speak up, holding nothing back, holding their own
allowing me the luxury of hearing his explanation was something i had always
suspected
THROWING OTHERS UNDER THE BUS
i was so proud that i witness such truth
shame on him
till then i have to get a cat scan so he says "he likes to alternate what kind of pictures need taken"
i said, "at the expense of me loosing my hair
and now having a lump removed from my right breast
not a word


"it is what it is, until it's over"


take control of your body