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Spinal Disorders & Back Pain For discussion of all spinal cord injuries, spinal issues, back-related pain or problems. |
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04-02-2012, 06:41 PM | #1 | ||
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-10-2012) |
04-04-2012, 08:18 AM | #2 | ||
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04-04-2012, 12:44 PM | #3 | |||
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Senior Member (**Dr Smith is named after a character from Lost in Space, not a medical doctor)
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I know where you're coming from, but please don't sell them, or yourself, short. The people you love, and who love you most, have the greatest capacity for understanding & compassion. If it's the descriptive language that's difficult to put into words, try googling: describe pain. There you'll find words and language to help describe it to both doctors and loved ones. If it's a matter of comprehension, everyone has had incidents of pain in their lives, both physical and emotional. Think about those times and try to analogize. "Remember that time when ______. Remember the pain and emotions you felt? How bad it hurt and no-one else could understand? Now imagine feeling (like) that every day of your life. Well... that's how I feel, Sweetheart." That's blunt and oversimplified, but I think you get the idea. Analogizing - putting things into terms people can understand and relate to from their own experiences - is often a powerful learning/teaching tool. I think it's also important to be aware that our loved ones often seem to behave as if they're ignoring or forgetting about our pain. If they seem to be ignoring it, it may be because they don't want to be the reminders; they don't want to make you feel bad/worse by bringing things up. They may also be trying to distract you from thinking about it because distraction is a legitimate and effective way of coping with chronic pain. If it seems that they forget how much pain you're in, that may be a good thing too. That may mean you're doing a good job of coping, and putting those around you at ease rather than uncomfortable and on edge. Though we may be victims, I think it's best that we don't play the part of victims - that we don't accept that role (but from what I've read, I think you already know that. ). I hope we can talk more about this, Doc
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Dr. Zachary Smith Oh, the pain... THE PAIN... Dr. Smith is NOT a medical doctor. He was a character from LOST IN SPACE. All opinions expressed are my own. For medical advice/opinion, consult your doctor. |
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04-04-2012, 05:44 PM | #4 | |||
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I agree wholeheartedly with Dr. Smith -- but I DO think that ONCE IN AWHILE, we'd like a little something like "I know how much pain you're in" or "I'm sorry you're hurting so much today." Just some validation. We NEVER get it from the doctors. Many of us never did!
I guess hearing it from our families would mean alot. I know it would to me. Hugs, Lee
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recovering alcoholic, sober since 7-29-93;severe depression; 2 open spinal surgeries; severe sciatica since 1986; epidurals; trigger points; myelograms; Rhizotomy; Racz procedure; spinal cord stimulator implant (and later removal); morphine pump trial (didn't work);now inoperable; lumpectomy; radiation; breast cancer survivor; heart attack; fibromyalgia; on disability. Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live.. .................................................. ...............Orestes |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-05-2012), ginnie (04-05-2012) |
04-04-2012, 06:20 PM | #5 | ||
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You and your comments are appreciated. I also have this pain issue, and sometimes I have to "ouch" loudly. It doesn't matter where I am at, it hurts! My family around me just ignors it, or someone comments I just like to be vocal. NOOOOOOOOO. it hurts! Try hitting your thumb with a hammer, and just quietly saying ouch, Most of us would be jumping up and down cussing! I am glad we have this site where we can be understood with this kind of pain. I have great empathy for all of us who hurt. ginnie
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-05-2012), ger715 (04-05-2012) |
04-05-2012, 03:30 PM | #6 | |||
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Senior Member (**Dr Smith is named after a character from Lost in Space, not a medical doctor)
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This bothered me a bit at first, but in thinking back (and trying to examine the POVs of her and our guests) I must have (without realizing) said/done something that put our friends ill at ease. DW wasn't dismissing me; I KNOW she understands. And she was right. She was just trying to salvage the situation. There's no way I would have wanted to make anyone so uncomfortable as to want to leave, or no longer want to be around me. I've been through that phase of alienating people - it stinks. I'm not trying to say that's what happened in Ginnie's case - that's just what happened here. Coping with all the stuff we have to is as complex and different for each of us as our individual conditions/injuries are. My hope/intent is that sharing these experiences help us learn more about ourselves, people in general, and (better/different?) ways of coping... Doc
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Dr. Zachary Smith Oh, the pain... THE PAIN... Dr. Smith is NOT a medical doctor. He was a character from LOST IN SPACE. All opinions expressed are my own. For medical advice/opinion, consult your doctor. |
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04-05-2012, 03:17 PM | #7 | |||
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Senior Member (**Dr Smith is named after a character from Lost in Space, not a medical doctor)
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It may go back to something in that Dr. Rob's blog post: Quote:
I hear you, Lee, and of course I'm only guessing/speculating - trying to see it from both sides. I've had doctors like those you describe, who just see us as their 10:15 or whatever... But I have gotten comments from others indicating they believe me, and their willingness to put that in writing. And my PCP does say, "Oh... sorry." or (albeit brief) words to effect when he asks how I am and I answer candidly, so there must be a factor of individual personality involved as well. Perhaps they view it as keeping things "professional", which definition is bound to differ between them and us(?) Doc
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Dr. Zachary Smith Oh, the pain... THE PAIN... Dr. Smith is NOT a medical doctor. He was a character from LOST IN SPACE. All opinions expressed are my own. For medical advice/opinion, consult your doctor. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (04-05-2012) |
04-09-2012, 01:23 PM | #8 | ||
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04-07-2012, 12:20 PM | #9 | ||
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Thank you for your words. It is so nice to come hear and [be heard. [/B] |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (04-07-2012) |
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