[mg neck prob]

Do you ever hide what you really feel from people in your life? Like after awhile without words you can just tell.... ppl dont want to hear about your pain ?? After 2 1/2 yrs of dealing with pain after surgery I dont want to talk about it either. I understand its a big turn off to ppl in general. I sometimes ? the sincerity of relationships in my life. I was always known as being fun person and very active ----and this whole thing has changed me. Its like thru it all I lost part of myself. Guess im wondering if anyone ever felt like this after spine surgery? Thanks for letting me vent.

[Leesa]

I totally understand what you're saying. I've had 2 open surgeries, plus a spinal cord implant & removal. I've had 27 years of this chronic nasty pain, and you do lose part of yourself. People don't want to hear about your pain or surgeries; they don't want to hear how you're feeling; even if they ask you how you're feeling, they don't want to hear the answer.

So who do you talk to about it? Usually no one, unless you go online to a forum and find someone compassionate enough to listen. But what about in the middle of the night, when you can't sleep cause the pain is so severe? Oh sure, you can go online then too -- but most people are in bed unless they too are suffering.

So you have to hide how you're feeling. NO one wants to hear it. If you don't hide it, you'll have no friends. Family will tune you out. It's lonely being in pain. Right now, my daughter is sitting in the chair right next to me, and she hasn't asked me how I feel -- she NEVER does! Ever. She's 37 yrs old and unemployed.

So we suffer in silence. I'm sure there's millions of us. God bless you mg neck prob. I understand completely. Please take care of yourself. Hugs, Lee

[gatorhead]

That is why I found this forum It is a sad reality and it hurts more to think they don't care about how you feel sometimes than the physical pain you feel. I check in and out of here throughout the day, and night. I cant sleep more than a few hours at a time due to pain.

[Spiney95]

The price we pay for the pain issues can be high. My kids don't want to hear about it because it intimidates them. My ex dumped me, litterally. Yep, he packed me up, moved me into a handicapped apartment and walked away without a word. I may talk about side issues but avoid the "P" word. Of course, when the kids take a look at my meds, they have a pretty good idea of where I am at. The last time one asked me if I really needed all that stuff, I hit the roof. Like we really enjoy planning our lives around the meds and fighting constipation. It gets rather crazy, eh? Best wishes.

[mg neck prob]

LESSA, GATORHEAD,SPINEY95 AND GINNIE,

I have been extremely appreciate all 4 of you very much!!!! I cant explain but you all have been supportive and sincere. It does make me feel not alone in my feelings. I know I need to shake it but some long term relationships have become strained and are ending. Not only romantic but family as well. I thought I been extremely stong btw cancer and neck surgery and tried not to rely on ppl as much as possible. When its thrown up in your face ....your not the same person--- it make me want to say F--- it !!! and walk away. I know I have alot of pride but lately things just really suck!! All the ones saying this to me I feel I gave more than I took. I dont expect anything from anyone I really don't-- but I thought things were not so superficial....its very disappointing to find out the hard way. Thanks Again