i had a stroke at the age of 33 over 1 1/2 years ago in december 2005. i did everything right, called 911 and was hospitalized. i went through weird tests for everything under the sun. the docs then said that it's possibly ms or lupus. i was a medical mystery for many months until last october, after my 5th mri scan. by then, it was too late because i have brain damage. i'm fortunate to recover all of my faculties. the sad thing is that the stroke complicated my treatment-resistant depression that i already had since i was 20. i'm 35 now, and nowhere near the right treatment for my depression. i can hardly function because of my depression.

i know those "time lost is brain lost" commercials are important. anyone feel offended by this because of the time it took to come to a diagnosis? docs found nothing that could have caused it, so chalked it up to birth control pills. besides, i still feel like a medical mystery when all the tests i went through came out normal. i had a ct scan, mri scans, mrv and mra scans, a lumbar puncture, a trans-esophageal echocardiogram, a holter monitor for heart rhythm, immuno-assay, and tons of bloodwork. i was tested for diabetes and thyroid functioning. i went through so many tests, so i may not remember all of them, despite all the note-taking i do.

anyone have issues finding the right treatment for depression? it's ridiculous. my psychiatrist has given up on me. and he's a good one - an assistant professor! anyways, i had docs suggesting electroshock treatments (ect treatments). i'm like, "are you kidding me?! i already have brain damage and don't need more brain damage." so, do you know of anyone who had ect after having had strokes and how well it helped them? i just don't feel it's safe with my situation. i know about the memory loss issues, too. i did my research on my options. i just want to know if there's relief because i haven't found any since. my life has been pure purgatory since. if i can get my depression under control, i can handle things. all i want to do is to enjoy the simple things in life, as i'm unable to experience pleasure, joy, or excitement.

thanks to anyone who responds. many thanks.

WW last night I typed out a long post regarding things that helped me get out of my deep depression.

The post never showed up.

If this one ever shows up - I will try to post the other one again.

If that don't work I will try to learn how to send it to you in a message. Over the last 18 months I have helped several people with ideas on how to feel better about their futures and change negative thinking to more happy and positive thoughts.

Ron

I will try this again ....

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Hello ww .....

While I don’t claim to be an expert. My first post on this stroke site was just tonight. So far they can find no cause of my stroke - which they have flip flopped calling a TIA then calling it a stroke (due to damage found with the MRI) back to calling it a TIA I suppose because I recovered. Then ...... I have had two more all in the last ten days.

I can add some on your depression I think.

My wife dumped me in May of 03 - it came right out of the blue. It devastated me. Then not long after - my only remaining friend (my mom) died. From ok to gone in six weeks.

I finally got myself into what I call personal development. I dove in very hard and took it very serious. I downloaded hundreds of hours of ebooks from people like these ........

Brian Tracy
Anthony Robbins
Caroline Myss (esp good for females)
Dale Carnegie
Deepak Chopra
Denis Waitley
James Allen (a man thinketh)
Jim Rohn
Joseph Campbell
Paul McKeena
Paul Scheele
Robert Kiyosaki
Og Mandino
SCWL (some good subliminals) Waitley also has some good ones
Stephen Covey

For a “taste” of these people - go here and read some of their quotes

This system would not allow me to give you the actual internet address but it is > brainyquote

Over the last 18 months I have made around 6,000 pictures. Those pictures are messages that are on a picture background.

I have several sets but .... I run them on two laptops that sit beside this desktop computer. The pictures change ever 60 seconds.

It is like a very elaborate - colorful set of “notes” on all the things I have learned.

One set (for example) is about 600 of those quotes from the type of people above.

I’ve learned lots and lots of logic on how to try to remain positive. I’ve learned how to “reframe” my thinking from sad/negative to more positive and learned the logic behind it.

If you have heard of “The Secret” for example. I found 10 hours of the workshop put on by the same people. After those 10 hours (of video) I finally “got it” - I now understand the benefits of “picking the best thing about someone/something and using that thought to get to even better ideas”.

Professional personal development from people like Jim Rohn is pure logic not hocus pocus. By listening to all of these ebooks and making thousands of pictures (reminders) all of this has helped me a great deal with getting myself out of deep deep depression. It has helped rebuild my self esteem - confidence and feelings of self pride.

While I admit these three TIAs or strokes I’ve had in the last 10 days is dragging me down (and scaring me bad) all the personal development is still helping me.

Feel free to message me if you would like. I can give you many ideas on how to get started on getting yourself out of the dumps.

One of the joys that came with all this work on this is - helping others. I am on some single’s sites and have helped may people with ideas along these lines.

Just being grateful for what we do have - is a big big step in the right direction.

If I ever figure out how to message - I will send you some more ideas.


Ron

I wanted to ask you how the docs think the birth control caused the stroke? Was it a clot?

Also even if not 100% sure of what caused the stroke I think treatment is the similar for most stroke survivors.

I think you have been through a great deal with depression and the stroke, and yet here you are reaching out and communicating wanting to change and move forward. You must have a guardian angel looking after you.

I think that depression and anxiety are tortures of the mind that cause havoc on the body. I think your first action should be getting a new doc, one that "hasn't given up on you."

It doesn't make any difference how many degrees and accolades a person has received, it doesn't necessarily make them capable.

This might sound silly but do you have love in your life? Your 30 something do you have a family? Are you close to your parents?

There is no medicine to compare to the healing power of love. This also includes love of self.

I recommend that you review the side effects of the meds you take. I stopped taking Tamoxifen because we thought it might be triggering stroke like symptoms. I was very surprised that my depression lofted when I stopped. I was functioning poorly and I could hardly eat but now I feel normal and I gained weight (right after I bought new clothes). Depression is listed as a side effect of Tamoxifen but there are so many side effects that it is hard to know which ones to pay attention to.

I have been trying to find info on the web, hope this site can give me a few answers. My sister (age 50) had a stroke last oct due to a blocked artery in the back of her neck, which they cant do surgery on due to the vein is too long, so she is on blood thinners and doing well in that aspect. The problem is her short term memory has been affected. She used to be a very busy person, even had to check her book if we wanted to plan something together. Today she cant work (she was a bookkeeper) and is home alone most of the time. Her friends has stopped coming by regularly. She is so depressed and lonely. I live on the east coast and she lives on west coast. Does anyone know if there is anything to help get the short term memory better? Or is she doomed to live this depressed life? She cries all the time and I dont know how to help or console her!!

Hey WW,
I can certainly hear where you are coming from!!! I too has a stroke at a young age. (37). It all started one day at work, I just wasn't feeling quite right but just chalked it up to one too many cold ones the night before. The odd feeling I was having went on for a few more weeks and to say the least, I was extremely concerned. I worked in a foundry (hot nasty work), but truly enjoyed my work. I was feeling like I'd somehow lost my Mo-Jo. After many appts. to a neurologist I was mis-diagnosed with MS. Well, all the while I'd been having TIA's. By then it was too late and the damage had already been done. I guess I've recovered fairly well, I can walk (with a limp & Cane) but still have not had much recovery with my left arm/hand. I went through all the traditional therapies like OT/PT and even went as far as to go through Huperbaric Oxygen Therapy all to no avail. I'm now 44 yrs. old and have reached a plateau. I also had terrible depression & mood swings until I finally got my meds right. I've been taking LEXAPRO for about a year now and it's working great. The best advice I can give you is to hang in there.

Mitch

I sure could use and very much so appreciate any help with the depression that I have fallen into.I can't seem to find any help.I would like to find a support group( a physical one) and I need a hot-line for suicide please.You've have the most encouraging spark for me.So far everything I find only scares me and adds to my depression. I cant understand why I wasn't sent home with help information.I don't see very many other people with any help for me.Please , please reply...please. Any one who can give me support group information, please reply.

HI Wicked wings, I know just how you feel. I am constantly dealing with incredible waves of anxiety and sadness, sometimes I don't know how I am going to make it through.I can't take any meds because so many are contraindicated for brain hemorrhages . I often feel like I am cracking up. I would certainly try act if I was able too but it too is not good for hemorrhagic strokes. It is making my quality of life so bad and I feel like I am hurting my relationships