Steve, I wonder sometimes if your sister and her husband are reading these forums? And sometimes I hope they are because they will see how many people care about you. It's so hard to understand how the people who are supposed to love and support us can often pull the rug out from underneath us for whatever reason.

I hope one day soon you can put this all behind you and have a new beginning, in a new environment.

HI (((BF))) checking in to give you a hug!
I hope you've been able to sleep a bit better.


Addy

I've been worried,and scared all day. I'm even worring about my dental problems,because social security doesn't seem to cover dentistry. My medicine is drying out my mouth,and I'm having gumline cavities. The list goes on about what I'm worrying about now. I feel frozen with fear about all of these things. BF

Thank goodness for this lifeline in this forum. BF

(((( Friend ))))

I wish i could do more for you. I can't afford the dentist right now either.

I will see if i can find something about diet/food/nutrients that can counteract med-induced anticholinergic effects (that is what gives dry mouth).

i do know that fish like tuna and mackerel are good sources of choline, but what i do not know is if giving the body more stuff to make acetylcholine will neutralize what the drugs are doing... i kinda don't think so... i will poke around in research articles and see if i can find something that does.



sometimes i think between the meds they give us and our illness it is like being stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.



hang in there sweetie. see if you can't maybe find something that you like to distract your mind with. it is hard not to worry, but if you can manage to distract yourself even for little stints at a time it will help.

i too hope you have been able to sleep better.



~ waves ~

I feel asleep,and had a stange dream,and woke up. I feel scared again. I read some bible verses,and came to the computer. BF

I am sorry you are still scared. I understand. This is scary.

I hope the bible verses helped. If not right away, I think it will. I am glad you did that. And I'm glad you came here to post.

Hang in there, keep reading, and hang onto us.
We are here for you.

~ waves ~

Thank you dear waves. I am scared. I'm feeling like I can't handle this. I'm going to call my therapist tomorrow. My case manager quit her job last week suddenly.

My family is putting guilt on me,and not support. This is what I can't handle either. Things are becoming overwhelming to me.

Thank you for understanding. BF

Dear Steve,

your case worker quit? ack! what timing! still, you will be assigned another case worker.
Yes, ABSOLUTELY call your therapist tomorrow.

it is insidious how others can talk us into feeling guilty. when it comes from family especially, it is easy to fall prey to what they are saying. but i also hear you saying that they are doing it, which means you see it. so a part of you knows it is about them and not you. keep sight of that.

even from just the forum, i know you are a good person, as i'm sure everyone here does. you are always kind in your posts. i hate that you are being hurt so injustly. just remember that we all care and we are on your side.

i hope your therapist can help some. also put a call in to see if you can get another case worker assigned immediately - tell whomever is in charge that you are in the middle of a financial and health crisis and need immediate assistance.



~ waves ~

This is advice from David on another thread:
Thoughts of Sicide and Death are exactly that THOUGHTS. They only mean something when the thoughts are put into action, until that they remain thoughts.

for more years than i care to remember i too have had these disgusting thoughts, and once or twice put action to thought, [completely unsuccessful thank god]

When the actions start to rise to the surface, you must seek imideate HELP. A+E [ER in the US] DONTsit there and allow the action of your thoughts take over, get up move, call 911 or get to a hospital as soon as possible.

When thoughts become actions, true sense of raltional behaviour goes out the window. So dont delay get help. Get a place of safety where Rationale can return and grief can express itself in a more clinical and sterile way. CRY CRY AND CRY MORE.....IT is a natural healing mechanism, it is your inner overflow pipe................................

Whenthe initial panic of suicidal thoughts subside.......concentrate on YOU............[NOT THE THOUGHTS YOU HAVE, NOT EVEN HOW YOU FEEL]
Concentrate on your person...........wash like you never bathed before....clean your nails, youyr hair, your teeth, ...............concentrate on each part of your body...................then dress in your finest clothes.....ironed to prestine condition with cleaned shoes..........and any accessories that your heart desires.................

then walk to a place you have never been before.........and submerge yourself in the surroundings..............have a coffe, a nice cake, a sandwich .............drink plenty of water [for the next few days not alcohol]////////////


BY FOCCUSING ON YOURSELF...YOUR APPEARANCE...YOUR SURROUNDINGS....AND NOT YOUR CRIPPLING ANXIETIES..........YOU CAN FIND BREATHING SPACE TO CARRY ON.



never think these thoughts will disapear without intervention...be it medication , or talk therapy, .....as they may just linger.................but will not truly disapear..........

you have to work at these feelings..............but rember they are THOUGHTS...NOT ACTIONS unless you ACT on them..................they CAN BE CONTAINED....

YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS YOU JUST HAVE TO

WANT TO.

I'M LIVING PROOF

DAVID
__________________
Take care of YOU