[BlueMajo]

I was posting this in the BP forum, but needed to come here to and keep "talking" as Im feeling terrible...

Remember my vision problems thanks to my stupidity of having surgery to correct my vision !? Well... I have been suffering for 2 years now... feeling guilty... and, the worst thing happened today...
I met this special guy, I really like him.. and guess what he said today... "I love girls with glasses... they are so sexy" I was like

I wore glasses for 25 years... I finally have surgery... Everything come out bad and I see nasty now... I have visual problems that cant be corrected with glasses... Ive been feling guilty for 2 years, I worry 24 hours a day 7 days a week about my eyes, I miss my glasses every single minute of my nasty life and now he tells me that !???

I feel so down... I want to be just dreaming... this cant be happening...

I cant handle this feeling anymore, I cant !!

[Hockey]

Hey Blue,

Today I’m going to call you “Black & Blue” because you’re beating yourself up over something that is so not your fault.

Laser eye surgery is a medical procedure that millions of people have undergone to improve their vision and free them from the real nuisance and continuing expense of wearing glasses. In the vast majority of cases there are no complications. You just got tragically unlucky. Should you really feel guilty about your surgeon’s mistake?

I believe we should reserve guilt for those times when we knowingly do things that hurt others. You are a kind person, attempting to lead a moral life. On the other hand, there are tons of folks around who gleefully do unbelievably wicked things and don’t give a hoot. I don’t think for a moment that you’re the sort of person God would want you to feel bad about yourself.

As for this man, I doubt that glasses are the only thing that he finds attractive. What draws people together is a complicated package. Physical attraction is an undeniable element, but shared values and emotional compatibility are the things that build lifelong relationships. If this fellow’s entire criteria (which I hope it isn’t), is a glasses fetish, would you want to be hooked up with someone that superficial? If the answer is yes (which I know it isn’t), you can buy frames with plain glass.

Talk with this man, if it’s right, trust God to let it happen. I always thank God that I was sitting behind my desk when I met my husband. You see, he’s quite short and never approached tall women because they tended to rebuff him. (Looks like some of us can be as shallow as the guys.) Anyway, he sat down and we started talking and by the time I stood up it didn’t matter that I towered over him. Had I been standing up at a cocktail party he would never have even spoken to me. So sometimes we need to trust fate a little to sort out the keepers.

I know it’s hard, but you’re an intelligent, beautiful person and things will work out for you. In the meantime, you just post as much as you need to, leave messages all over our profile pages and set the world’s record for PM sending until it makes you feel a little better. We’re all here for you – for the long haul.

Cheers

[Nik-key]

((Hockey)) That, was a remarkable post!

((blue)) I agree with everything that hockey said. Guilt is a useless emotion. It feeds the fires of depression. We all have way too much of it in our lives. The good news is we can control how we let it effect us. Try to throw this particular guilt away, you did nothing to feel guilty about.

((blue)) it might be helpful to remember the old saying "you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else" If you work on that, I bet you find "the rest" will fall nartually into place
Keep Talking

[Addy]

Well my friend....

I'm sitting here nodding my head to the wise words of wisdom above....

I'm sitting in this: (I wish!!!)

Hope you're feeling better about yourself real soon!

[BlueMajo]

((((Hockey))))

(((Nikki))))

(((Addy))))


Thank you so much for your wise posts... I wish I could be that wise !!!

I really appreciate you taking the time on posting my posts

How i wish I was a different person... I... is like, I hate myself... I hate every single thing I do.. I... blah... Crap... I just want to be happy but I cant... or, I feel I cant...

Sorry, Im just typing things that I feel... I...

[barbo]

You are such a wonderful person - it's hard for me to believe that you can't see that. I'm scratching my head.

[BlueMajo]

((((((((((Barbo))))))))))

Thank you for your post.

You made me laugh with the "head" thing... And i love to see your manatee...

[thelonely1]

Hello blue! I just wanted to leave you a post to let you know you're not alone. I too hate everything about myself, I have no self-esteem and I wish I was completely different. It's just the nature of the depression beast. But anyone here will tell you that these thing are just not true, you just can't see that right now. You have to try hard not to beat yourself up, and so do I. I know how hard it is; I'm living with the same thing. But we'll get through it together okay?

I have always believed that one of the biggest attributes of a truly good person is the ability to feel guilt. Guilt drives us to become better people. It shows that you aren't selfish. You can't feel guilt without feeling love at the same time. The problem is that when you love too much, you tend to feel guilty when you've really done nothing wrong.

So...try not to be to hard on yourself, and know that you are a truly good person.

Please take care

[BlueMajo]

Thelonely

Thank you so much for posting That was a lovely post. Thank you very much. You are very wise...

How I wish I could stop these feelings... gosh... and Oh my God, how I wish I could have some self-esteem...

Thanks again !

[Alffe]

See how loved you are Blue. Wasn't it Robert Burns that talked about "the gift to see ourselves as others see us"?

And I so agree with Hockey....going to call you black & blue if you don't stop it. lol