NeuroTalk Support Groups - Please let it begin . . .

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- - Please let it begin . . . (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/109403-please-begin.html)

David: wow, the youngest of 9! holy smokes!
By the way, I'm the oldest of 3... and my role is the "fixer"... and boy, is that ever true!

I think you left out one key reason about why you drink - you grew up watching it - its what you knew. I don't like that word "weakness" - but, ya know... you're right, darn it.

Reyn - I just wrote you a PM and I want to share a bit of it with the others here: I told you that I am very grateful that I have never suffered pain bad enough to have to take pain killers... I can only imagine how difficult it would be to resist their pull. :hug:

xoox to all... this is a tough subject... :grouphug:

Hi all. I'm sorry, I don't have time to type much, but I'm still reading and thinking of you all.

As always, thanks for the support and the posts.
See you later
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Addy

I didn't actually ever witness my Father drinking he quit when i was young..although i can remember on three occasions him not being at home and big arguments occurring,

My mum is teetotal....and hated the drink ....it was a dirty word in the house...I'm not saying she turned all nine of us to drink.... but occasionally reverse psychology kicks in......[you cant have= i want it...so to speak]

Either way my family background ////my up bringing may play a factor...i just don't know how bigger factor..............i don't blame anyone though for my mistakes....just myself the big Oaf.

David

Such a lovable big Oaf...you always bring this song to mind..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73xatTlWmDw

:grouphug:

Alffe [thank you for the lovely song above I'm humbly moved]

I in return, had to then gift of a beautiful song that reminds me of you.

When i googled a Italian-English translation it brought a tear to my eye, i hope you like the song [its my wife's favourite]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zuyl...aynext_from=PL

Translation

I miss you

When the sun shakes hands with the horizon

When the dark switches off the hustle of people

The tiredness inside me that won't go away

Like the shadow of something that's still mine

I miss you

In your looks

And in that slightly cheeky smile

You're that knot in my throat which won't go down

And you, and you

I miss you I miss you

I can pretend I'm ok but I miss you

Now I know what it means

To have you next to me before I go to sleep

While I walk barefoot inside my soul

I miss you and I could

Look for another MAN but I would be fooling myself

You're my endless regret

The cold in my mornings

When I look around

And feel that I miss you

Now that I can give you something more

and you and you (you is the subject of the verb 'manchi' in Italian because literally it would be 'you lack from me' so you is the subject)

I miss you and I could

Have another MAN but I would be fooling myself

You're my endless regret

The cold in my mornings

When I look around

And feel that I miss you

From: http://lyricstranslate.com From: http://lyricstranslate.com

[THE ONLY WORD I CHANGED, WAS MAN FROM WOMAN]

David:

its so strange that this song translates this way, i hope it reminds you of Michael, [in a beautiful way]

Oh tears here....David thank you for that beautiful gift. I've put it in my favorites. I think your wife has excellent taste in both men and music.:hug:

I never realized

Quote:

Originally Posted by reyn (Post 598200)

(L1) Your mom is drinking because she has a problem not because you are a problem to her. Don't ever let yourself believe that! I'm so glad that Addy and jaded posted the info about acoa -- I'm going there later to read. Science has proved that addictive behaviors can be hereditary, similar to depression and suicidal behavior. I acknowledge that I have an alcohol problem on top of the drug (pain pills) problem. Anything to escape my reality seems wonderful to me, but I have a history of chemical abuse and addiction, so I know that drinking--for me--is not a good thing.

My mother's mother died by suicide which my mother never was able to get past. My mother let me know at an early age that I did not please her.`I have wondered if she saw something of her mother in me or if it was just because I was so different from her. My first visit to a psychiatrist was when I was in the 7th or 8th grade. My father explained later to me that the doctor told him the problem was between my mother and me. Maybe that is why he always welcomed me home, whether for a weekend or weeks-on-end. I never stopped trying to please my mother but eventually reached an acceptance of what I could not change (thanks to Alffe's patient listening to me and her wisdom that she shared).

Thinking of you and believing in you (L1)!

from my *heart,
reyn

P.S. I'm the youngest of 4, but I never had the "baby of the family" roll -- that went to my sister, baby #3 :rolleyes:

Dear Reyn, I came to SOS to read your postings. I did not realize how much we had in common. I, too, have addictive problems. You seem much braver than me, however, perhaps because I took the baby of the family role from my younger brother. I have trouble with typing, but I want so much to be your friend. billie

And you already have been a friend to me ((billie)). That you are willing to communicate with me, to *talk with me about our many mutual personality traits, life situations and choices, pain issues that seem to only be successfully addressed by narcotics, and then the family issues -- your posts and PMs speak to my very core.

I hope that you will be able to spend some quality time with your dad. Maybe you can ask him about the mulching blade? Let's talk about it, okay?

from my *heart,
reyn

bumping and I am not sure I have a reason...guess I am at a loss for original words....just love you all and hope I can "recover". :grouphug:

Hi all,

I think things happen for a reason and at the right moment... I have been far from this forum, but keeping you always in my thoughts and today, Im having a very rough day... have been having bad months actually, and came here to read some words of wisdom and I found this thread....

Thanks for existing. And thank you Alffe for bumping this thread ! :hug:

I love you all so much.