The Wonder(ful) of it all....

who moi · 12-16-2009, 12:16 AM

maybe this belongs in the wonder thread...but it is also about how "wonderful"
it is...

first of all, let me get my selfish post out of the way (but then I'll try to somewhat explain why it is needed.

)

it hasn't been so wonderful for me health-wise...

I have been sick since August 30th, 30 days after my surgery, I ended up with the "make your wishes come true" flu...you know, the one that when pigs fly, things that aren't supposed to happen, happens?

then, the repetitions of fevers, pneumonia, sinus infections, and the latest, stomach flu have become so superfluous to the point that even an Outback Bushman would want to give up his boomerang (did that made any sense to anybody, even moi? LOL).

Every week, somebody or two somebodies in this household would have something...every week...and most weeks, the three of us, "mii, miiiself, and II" are involved in it somehow...

I have felt pretty jaded with all these sickness...I have felt "angry" because I can't seem to feel better, my body felt drained, tired, and OLD...

and my surgery site just don't want to stop hurting....

so, this past Tuesday, I had the stomach flu...this is after both kids and the in-laws that had visited had all had it...and I had it and I've HAD IT....really really HAD IT with it all now...

on my way home after taking kids to school....

I CRIED....wait....I wailed....

I missed my dad's birthday, which was Nov 30th, I had all intentions of going to his grave to bring him some flowers...I was too sick...

on Dec 2nd, it was the 7th anniversary of my dear friend, Tam's death anniversary, I forgot about it because grandson was sick...

one of our very good friend died of a BENIGN brain tumor....and it was devasating...

before you stop reading about my whine, please give me a chance to keep on reading and know why I need to tell you all this...

everyday, I think about my family here at NT....and I miss you guys and I felt bad for not having the strength nor energy to even come here to read...

I was afraid to even log onto my email to read....

I was afraid that my friends would think that I'd forgotten them, even worse, "abandoned them"...

and I was angry at myself for not being able to keep up like I should be...

then, it happened...

the first card came...then, the second....then a package...then, another....

then, another and another....cards, packages...

today, I went to the mailbox and got 2 more cards...

today, a good friend came by who was leaving town for awhile and he dropped off presents for all of us...especially for the kids....

everybody is now asleep and I am sitting here with tears in my eyes again....

this time....it's one of those heartworming tears because I have tape worms...

no, really, my heart feels really warm...

I cannot believe that I have been such a sucky awful friend but that my friends all remembered me/us and are kind enough to send us cards or packages...

I decided to log onto NT...and there were messages waiting for me...I checked my email...I mean, really checked it...and folks are still emailing me...and asking if I am doing OK....

the kind thoughts of emails and messages just even warms me more as I fight off my ring worms...

and even though I am tired as heckit and I really wanted to go to sleep right now....

I felt the need to come here....to let you all know that...

THIS...this....IS the spirit of Christmas...

But you KNOW that already...

I am not a believer of any religion....I am not an atheist...I am someone that believes and respects everyone for their beliefs...

I also like Christ, the philosopher...

whom, I know, fought for those folks that were surpressed; fought for those that others deemed "not good enough"; fought for those that were forgotten; fought for those that felt "abandoned".

and he gave....eventually, his own life....

we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas the other day which I have always loved but never had gotten...you know, the gist of...

it finally dawned on me THIS time, after many years of watching it...what Charles Schulz was trying to convey in his simple yet wonderful cartoon....

it wasn't about how big or pretty the trees are...it was how much love one can show someone or even some things....what love is about...

I read about the couple that started to pay for some other folks meals and then it started a chain reaction for five hours at a restaurant...

I read about the good deeds folks are doing for one another...

and I am now receiving the love that is coming through the mails, emails, even thoughts...

and I am so lucky...to know that even though I, myself, have not been giving...I have and always have been receiving...

LOVE....

and it isn't just over the holidays....the truth is, you guys, my dear friends, have been giving me/us that love all year long...

you embody the spirit of Christmas not just during the holidays...but all year long...

so, tonight, I am reading a few threads....and my body is too tired to respond to them all....

so, tonight, I am sitting here....but NOT feeling guilty, just for tonight...because I just want to soak it all in without feeling the need to feel guilt...

so, tonight, I am smiling here....saying my thankfuls and blessings....

tomorrow, I am going to make a point of passing on the love to everyone I see...no matter how much they might annoy me....is to say, "hi, and merry CHRISTMAS...."

I need to pass along the love....because I may never give it back to fully to the ones that have given it to me....and many of you, have given it to me, to my family....unconditionally...without asking for anything back...

I may not be around, folks...but I think about you guys daily...I am not kidding....

I am hoping that this is the last of the germs...but maybe, I need to show the germs some love..hmmmm...LOL...

it IS wonderful.....and I am thankful to be reminded of it, as I'd forgotten...and this year, we get two extra ones to be thankful for....and I hope they are feeling the loves....

in a way, to me, it also works like this....the love you have shown me...is not just kept in my heart....I get to share it....to keep on passing it...

and this year....two kids in moss and my life get to RECEIVE some of that love....

it's all good....

(((((BIG HUGS))))) for you all, to the broom, to the germs, and to Casey Kasem (the kids love Scooby Doo and he provides the voice for Shaggy...and Scooby Doo has been a blessing to us on those days when they are sick...)

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS....(and heckit with all the political correctness...LOL)

much love,

moi, moss, lil fusses, and the lil' fuzzballs

Kitty · 12-16-2009, 01:30 AM

So good to hear from you!! I think of all of you everyday and have hoped that you were doing alright. I know how hard it is to post when you aren't feeling well....and it sounds like you've had more than your fair share of "bugs". You've all been in my prayers and I hope that the rest of this year is flu-free and fun for all of you. Merry Christmas!

Twinkletoes · 12-16-2009, 01:46 AM

Merry Christmas to you, too, Moi!

Nice to see you are still alive. Glad you been missing us cuz we missed you too. Sorry you just can't seem to get feeling better. That's the pits.

This Christmas will be your best cuz you've got little kids to share it with. Santa Claus believers are so much fun to celebrate with. They will bring many BIG GRINS to Moi's face.