BMW It was a honest mistake,and no one's angry at you. God hears your prayers. We all love you. BF

I hope that all of the pain stops. I hope that everything went well. I'm sending "Hugs" your way.

hmmmmmmm..... I am glad I missed this post when you posted it! I can see the others have "set you straight" There is NO need whatsoever for you to apologize... as to feeling dumb...... < stern look > Are you doing your "homework" Angel friend of mine? You are wonderful, supportive, caring, and have a heart of pure gold!!! Please, please, don't ever beat yourself up like that again! Pretty please Much love my friend ♥ Nikki

Hi everyone I wanted to stop in for a quick update.....
I am a bit surprised how much post surgical pain there is. I went into this with a great attitude..."I have survived brain surgeries, I can handles this, piece of cake!"

Well that was one mother load of a piece of cake! lol. I still can't even turn my neck. I just started being able to take care of my personal needs on my own again. Pride, such a useless emotion, but one I seem to have waaaaaay too much of!

I am holding my own.... still hurts like the dickens, but still praying the outcome will make it all worth while! I wont know for several more weeks if the surgery was successful. My whole head is still numb from the extensive surgery.. but, the feelings are coming back. That is both good and bad. Bad in that I am very tender and where they drilled the holes.. ouch! But good in that as soon as I get the all the feelings back, I will know if the ON pain is gone. The surgeon is very optimistic! So much so he wants to schedule the other side already..... eeeeek. lol

I see him on Feb 9th, and I hope by then we will know if it worked. I am still very hopeful. Sleep is still difficult. But I keep reminding myself I haven't had a good night sleep in 11 years!! and this could be the answer to many prayers. Small price to pay to my thinking!

The weather just SUCKS!!! And the snow..... acccccck. Such a difficult time for me.... Hard not to be bumbed out, but I am doing my level best. I wanted to read through more posts, but I just can't. I hope you can all understand. Much love and big hugs Nikki

It's wonderful to see a post from you Nikki and glad you are "coming along" in your healing process...obviously your good dr. is impressed enough to want to repeat the process. I must admit to ignorance about compression...did you have it for your spine? I do know it is to relieve your pain so sending prayers for a lot less pain and soon.

I also saw your post to David about coming here for comfort and support and instead, finding more pain. We are such a mixed group here...those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide and are willing to try to talk about what it does to us and why no one should consider it, run into the wall of those who seem determined to end their depression by killing themselves.

We have a very inactive Depression Forum here but I am at a loss as to what to do to encourage it's use...and then there is that "love" thing...you get to caring about each other and need to know that everyone is ok inspite of their struggles. ~sigh

I don't have an answer. Like you Nikki...I do care.

Often times I feel we are kindred spirits It is like you know what is inside my heart, and often times, even before I can see it myself. Much love

feb 9th is only 9 days away now. so hopefully you are very near to some light at the end of this tunnel. sending you my bestest wishes!

((( gentle hugs )))

~ waves ~