[Alffe]

You know you're making progress through grief when:

You don't always choke when you say your loved one's name.

Tears don't always well up in your eyes when you think of your loved one.

The CAUSE of death isn't the emphasis anymore.

Memories, for the most part, bring comfort, not pain.

You realize your plans don't include your loved one any more.

You realize you are someone different.

You can forgive yourself for living, when your loved one did not.

Your identity is no longer highlighted by the word BEREAVED.

You KNOW that even though your loved one died, the love between you can never be destroyed.

************

Darcie Sims, Ph.D. CGC,CHT Grief Inc.

[Nik-key]

ummmmm.............. and just when do these miracles occur?

When you told me year two would be more difficult, I must admit... as much as I admired you
and looked to you for guidance, I didn't fully believe you. Because, how could ANYTHING be
worse than all those firsts without my Dad!

But, you were right. It is so final .... the blissful numbness wears off to leave just the stark
awful truth. And somehow, I am suppose to find a way to carry on alone..... *sigh

[Brokenfriend]

Your not alone Nik-key,and neither am I. You hang in there.

Also"With the passing of time,is the healing of grief." Benjamin Franklin said that.

I'm sorry that you are still hurting. You can carry on. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Ps.34:18 BF

[Alffe]

Originally Posted by Nik-key

ummmmm.............. and just when do these miracles occur?

When you told me year two would be more difficult, I must admit... as much as I admired you
and looked to you for guidance, I didn't fully believe you. Because, how could ANYTHING be
worse than all those firsts without my Dad!

But, you were right. It is so final .... the blissful numbness wears off to leave just the stark
awful truth. And somehow, I am suppose to find a way to carry on alone..... *sigh

Allow yourself to feel the sadness: We can run but we can't hide from our grief. It will find us and have its way with us. The sadness that crushes us is not optional; what we do with that sadness is up to us. Diverting energy into work or projects as many have done is effective for some people but not for most of us. Feeling the weight of our child's death is exhausting and draining but we must meet it head on and let it wash over us as a cleansing rain to our spirits. Talk and think about your loss often. Share stories and memories and don't worry about the tears when they come. The tears will come and when they are done pouring out, they will stop only to return less often but at unexpected moments.

Don't put a timeline on your grief: As others have said, "It takes as long as it takes." Your sadness is yours and no one else's. Don't put an arbitrary timeline on how long you feel bad and don't compare your grief with someone else's."

Robert Thompson,MD Bereavement Publications, Inc. Living With Loss.
Reprinted in SOS Newletter Dane County Jan 2010 issue

[jaded2nite]

Alffe you are AWESOME!