"When someone you know loses a loved one to suicide you need to give him/her enough room to grieve, but not so much room that he/she feels abandoned or shunned. If you withdraw, for whatever reason, our absence will be noticed. Such distance may not be easily forgiven or forgotten.

Keep in mind that the person who is grieving a suicide death will very likely need more support over a longer period of time than someone who has lost a loved one from natural causes. Although a survivor of a suicide will experience similar grief reactions as those associated with other types of loss, (feelings of shock, denial, helplessness, anger, guilt, etc.) the grief reactions to a suicide are often exaggerated. This is primarily due to the violence, suddenness of the trauma, and social stigma attached to the act of suicide.

Compassion, acceptance, and understanding are key elements in caring. A nice way to give your attention, time, and sincere encouragement is to simply ask, "How are you doing?" and then be 'present' with the person. Your time & willingness to listen are gifts."...

--Vicki Westrich SOS Support Group/Emergency Services
April 1997 SOS Newsletter Dane Cty