I'm not even sure how to begin this. I know I can't get everything here in detail. I've been in the thick of this mess now in person for over a week and by phone for some months now. The situation with my son has brought up some really difficult stuff, but also given me some more understanding of men, emotional pain, and society's varied attitude on suicidal ideation and how men are "suppose" to act.

Enough men have expressed as much to me and now it is all making some sense.

Why, oh why can't people understand that God gave men tears too?? Why can't people understand that men hurt too?? Why can't they understand that men have sensitive hearts and spirits too?? Why can't they just let a man have a good cry?? Especially when his whole world is falling apart around him, and he is losing most of everything that means something to him? I just don't get it.

Because he told a friend that he was just going to cry himself to sleep, a friend took it that he was suicidal and called in authorities which has created a nightmare of events. He never was suicidal to begin with.

On the one hand I am grateful that someone was watching after him, just in case. But, on the other hand, he wasn't suicidal and it has cost him a lot.

I don't know, just thought I would bring it up for discussion.

Something else I have noticed, men seem to be, for the most part, more intellectual about suicide, and, I think, therefore more apt to complete the job. This is very hard to talk about.

My grandchildren, especially the young teens are more at risk, as their world comes apart too. I have dried more tears, and am doing my best to be supportive.

All the things we have tossed around in here and discussed have been a big help to me. It is true that you just can't fix some things. All you can do is be there and be supportive.

It's so hard to watch one woman cause so much pain to those around her. If I've said too much, please forgive me.

Physically, the wounds are healing...emotionally is going to take a long time....