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Old 04-03-2010, 09:02 AM #1
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Trig one week today

I just got out of the psych ward friday. and today it is one week that i took a handful of pills and tried to kill myself i dont know what to say iam just so sad and feeling guilty i put my family through this....all my meds are changed again and i fell like a zombie.. i just need some positive feedback thanks.
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Old 04-03-2010, 10:44 AM #2
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I'm so glad you failed in your attempt darkside. We lost our only son to suicide and it forever changed our family. Those that are left behind after losing aloved one to suicide spend years asking WHY, and being angry that someone they loved would make such a choice.

I don't know your circumstances or the cause of your depression. I'm just glad you came here to talk about "it"....that elephant in the room.
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:53 AM #3
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This is so scary. Please darkside find some help. You need to talk this out with someone besides your family. If you die I hope you realize you also kill a piece of them. I don't want to make you feel guilty, you can't help this, I'm sure you want happiness for yourself. Can you think of times when you felt good? The medication may have something to do with this. I look at life like a movie I can't wait to see how it turns out.
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Old 04-04-2010, 12:30 PM #4
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Oh Darkside, I can so relate to where you are. The end of May will be my 1 year mark for my "visit" to the psych ward. When I was released, I was feeling timid, afraid, guilty unable to believe that I had laid in bed for almost 3 years being depressed and trying to adjust to meds. In hindsight, I was doing a passive suicide, since I know I wouldn't kill myself because I know the pain of being a survivor of suicide (my mom). So I tried to be rational and tell myself that it wasn't suicide if I wasn't doing anything much to sustain my life.

Like I said, it's been almost a year, and what a change. Yeah, I lost my home after that, but I found hope again and what a great friend I have in real life, who let me move into his home. Then their is the great support that is offered by everyone here....they saved me more than they know and I will be forever grateful. Alffe and others know how bad I was and how far I've come. So please give your body a chance to adjust to the meds, if they don't work, try something else. Talk to us, we will listen, sometimes it just helps to talk, but please don't give up.

I too am happy that you weren't successful in your attempt, and hope you will come back and talk. Gentle hug
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:12 AM #5
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Hi Darkside, and welcome to our little corner of the internet. I hope you keep coming and posting your story here, everyone is caring and supportive, and there is no need for you to feel guilty, and you won't ba judged.

I too know the pains of suicidal tendencies. I have very few reasons to stay alive, but I've managed to keep going by thinking of what it would do to my family if I killed myself. I can't bear to bring that kind of pain to them. It sounds like you have some family to love you too. You don't need to feel guilty about what you did, (though I don't think you should try again), now it is clear to your loved ones how much pain you are in, and they can help you and support you as much as you need.

I know it's hard to keep living, but please try, if not for yourself then for those who care about you. And please keep coming back here, this place is the most helpful form of medication I've ever known.
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Old 04-05-2010, 07:46 AM #6
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I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to welcome you to NT. We are all happy that your suicide attempt failed and that you are here making a very important step back into life.

While we wouldn't want you to try again, please don't feel guilty about your attempt. Trust me, your friends and family aren't angry at you; they're thrilled that they didn't lose you.

Now that everyone (including you)knows how badly you've been hurting, please avail yourself of all the help you can find. Medication, professional councillors, support groups, friends, spiritual guidance and even a pet, are just a few of the things that can help you edge away from the darkside.

Cheers
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