thank you Lisa, that was beautiful.

Join a Class

Whether it’s an art class, an exercise class, or a class at your local community college, joining a class automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests. It can also provide a sense of belonging that comes with being part of a group. This can stimulate creativity, give you something to look forward to during the day, and help stave off loneliness. (See this article for more on the benefits of exercise and taking classes.)

Volunteer

Becoming a volunteer for a cause you believe in can provide the same benefits as taking a class — meeting others, being part of a group, creating new experiences — and also brings the benefits of altruism, and can help you find more meaning in your life, both of which can bring greater happiness and life satisfaction, as well as decreasing loneliness. Additionally, working with others who have less can help you feel a deeper sense of gratitude for what you have in your own life.

those blue "pages" have expired but the message of Volunteering and joining a class remain good ways to help shape your life.

I feel about the same way as you do, I-wonder what I am hanging around for at times.I am reaching out to this list in hopes of gathering strenth for my coming storm. If this turned out poorly, or I wind up in a worse conditions than I am in now. I truely do not know how I will respond. This has been no picnic for any who are on this list. I do not have the support of all my family.My son is in my corner, and I have two very close people who I do call my family, so I am lucky in that respect. Emotionally I know I am not doing that great. I think for the most part because I am so scared. Keep reaching out, and I will too, may be there really are people on this site that can help with group hugs though space. ginnie

I do try to talk to people when I get the chance. I always sit there desperately trying to think of anything to add to the conversation, and of course there's never anything for me to add, so I end up sitting in silence. Inevitably someone notices me sitting awkwardly, so they try to fix it by asking me about myself. Then I have to watch them become less interested in me as they find out how boring and pointless my life is. I have to see them judging me when they find out I dropped out of college, then again when they find out that I'm not going back, then again when they find out I have no backup plan, no ambition, no interests at all. I hate talking to people because no matter what their intentions were, they always end up bored and disinterested with me. Every conversation is forced and awkward, and I can't stand it.

I honestly think I have no interests. It's not that depression made me lose interest, or that I don't have the energy; it's because I was never interested in anything to begin with. People will always write it off as me being to lazy or stubborn to apply myself, they think I'm being melodramatic or exaggerating. No one wants to belive there are people like me in the world. Everyone tells their children the same lies: that everyone likes something, that every person has something they are good at. No one wants to help the child that isn't good at anything, no one can tell him what to do to be happy, they just say "think harder" and then go off to help someone who does have a future. Then the child grows up lonely and depressed, thinking he's a freak because everyone else is good at something, and he's the only one who's useless. Then, of course, the child turns into me, the only way he can find "friends" is if he pretends to like the same things as others. The alternative: being yourself and ending up alone and miserable. No wonder children are told these lies, no parent wants their child to grow up to be me.


Sorry about the rant, but it would be impossible for me to actually talk to a doctor about all of this. It's taken about two hours to type this, and if I tried to actuall speak it to a person my mind would go blank, and I'd just have to sit through the judging stares of another person. God didn't give me the ability to turn my jumbled thoughts into words, all that comes out is a sentence that only I can understand, or some inane comment that is of no use to anyone.

Sorry again about the rambling, and thank you all for replying and trying to help me with my humiliating life.

Do you have a printer? You could print the words you've typed and hand them to a health care professional.

I do have a printer but it doesn't work.

I wish I could just speak and act like a normal person...

Hi Lonely1, Maybe just give yourself time to "grow up". I really did not know what I wanted to do until I was in my late forties. I think that you are good at something. You are able to write achingly poignant messages that touch many peoples' hearts and souls. It occurs to me that perhaps maybe you might just be shy. I often feel the same way when I am with groups of people. I have just learned to turn the conversation back to the other person by asking them questions about themselves. To me, you are a normal person, and I am glad to know you, Lisa

Yes, I am shy. Maybe cripplingly shy. I guess it doesn't help that there's never been anyone who really wants to get to know me. I try so hard to talk to people whenever the chance arises, but I can never get anyone to care about me. (excluding the people on this forum because they've never had the awkward misfortune of having to talk to me in person ) *Sigh*... I just can't seem to make any since unless I have an hour to figure out what I'm trying to say.

Thank you Lisa, I'm glad to know you too.

Dear Lonelyone,

very articulate.

except for the physical pain one (i dread pain of any kind)...
all the other points, i could have written....
every single one...

bing bing bing

bing-go.

yes, depression is an illness. three cheers for antidepressants... if only they would hurry up and WORK though... no telling when, or to what extent... sigh.

i may try to get that book too.

~ waves ~

Dear Lonelyone

having now read the rest of the thread...

i agree that maybe you just haven't found what your interests are. people can be awfully unkind. the fact that you dropped out of college and choose not to return doesn't make you a second citizen. but i know what you mean. i am afraid of showing one of my transcripts for how many Fs it has on it. they don't really speak for my ability, but it doesn't matter... i can't stand the look on people's faces...

and i do, btw, find you very articulate. maybe when you speak the shyness causes things to get jumbled. but you do write expressive posts. one day who knows... perhaps you could publish something... not to put pressure on you now.

Lisa, thank you for your post - it is comforting to know one can figure oneself out in one's late forties.

~ waves ~