Thank you for the words Waves. I know there are always a lot of people here who feel the same things I do, but it's always nice to be reminded, especially since depression tends to make me forget things like that.

Lonelyone


I have been thinking.............would you say your extremely shy ..in so much that you physicaly find it hard to hold a conversation?

if yes there is a condition called Selective Mutism, usualy found in children but some continue into adulthood...[it is a known condition and with therapy curable]


if at present you find it hard to convey your life to a doctor.........say for 3 months give this ago and see if you feel any different.
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/food/news/...1110-1,00.html
this is just one site but there are many 'MOOD FOR FOOD' sites.......some list full daily diet plans that incorporate all foods for a balanced diet and healthy mind..........[i am looking for the link i used at work 6 years ago to develop a diet for clients....but cant find it but will keep searching]

then there is cognative behaviour therapy............you could even do it on line......[some charge....but it could be worth it].............it helps indiviuals look at life from the here and now....and clarify positive and negative thinking....and put it into factual rationalisation]

i tried this in my earlier reply to you.

CBT makes you see things clearly and helps your brain recognise signals and then transmits the way you respond ...rationaly......

for example and i quote " Inevitably someone notices me sitting awkwardly, so they try to fix it by asking me about myself. Then I have to watch them become less interested in me as they find out how boring and pointless my life is."


CBT would teach you to imagine the other persons response to you...lets say i am the person you describe above.
i might say to myself
" I wonder why that guy is quiet, i wonder if he is like me, shy?...maybe i will go over and say hi" half way through our conversation i may say to myself " he is still not saying a lot, maybe he does not like me...i will be polite and move around the group...i hope i havent bored him with my life'

CBT could teach you to act and not react.....at no point is our perception of others 100% correct its just how our brain transmitts what we see and hear into a feeling.......the feelings we recieve react to our emotions........... and our emotions then...interpert how to react....[often by what we have learned as children]


if someone in the past said your boring once and then a hundred times......the chances are you ...then believe every rebutle from human contact be associated with you thinking...that person thinks your boring......

CBT is about training your mind to alter an emotional stimulant............... and think objectively before responding.

i am going on a bit now so i will go.....i just thought you may want to look at all your options, ..................a daily diary including all you eat and drink aswell may help a health professional recognise your dilema..


David

just trying to help

Absolutely brilliant advice David! My goodness, this is the type of therapy people pay for ... you have given our lonely1 a great springboard to start helping himself.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is the way to health dear lonely1.
It still takes a ton of energy on your part... but you can do it!

I wish you all the best
Addy

I know I need to see a doctor, (and there may be something to the selective mutism thing) but I also know I'm going to hate every second of it. I have been to see doctors countless times for many different reasons. I have NEVER gotten ANY benifit out of it. Most of the problems that caused me to go to the doctor 12 years ago I STILL HAVE. I'm either given a useless prescription or they tell me to "keep an eye on it," which is a polite way of saying "I don't want to exert any effort to help you, so learn to live with it." Let's just say I don't have much faith in doctors' ability to help me.

It doesn't matter anyway, because I have too many other concerns right now to think about getting help. It would be great to be able to get help online, but I don't think my ADD brain would be good at comprehending CBT on it's own; I wouldn't be able to stay focused.

Thanks for the information David, but I guess I'll have to hold off getting fixed for a while.

Hi Lonely!

I sent you a PM, not sure if you got it. But I think David is definitely on to something. CBT is a great start, but I recommend using a professional to help you out. You don't need a dr to get help, lonely. A therapist can help without prescribing meds and as long as its a good one, they should be helpful. If you need any help, I am here. Don't give up yet.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd...t_symptoms.htm

Cognitive-behavioral therapy – Cognitive-behavioral therapy encourages you to identify and change the negative beliefs and behaviors that are causing problems in your life. Since many individuals with ADD/ADHD are demoralized from years of struggle and unmet expectations, one of the main goals of cognitive-behavioral therapy is to transform this negative outlook into a more hopeful, realistic view. Cognitive-behavioral therapy also focuses on the practical issues that often come with ADD/ADHD, such as disorganization, work performance problems, and poor time management.

Lonelyone if you get chance check out this site there is a lot of information on here.

You say [quote] "It doesn't matter anyway, because I have too many other concerns right now to think about getting help".


Then might i sugest you make a list in order of priority to what your concerns are.
Start at the top of list and work through that concern slowly to try and remove it as a concern.......if you cant fix it its ok...we dont always overcome obstacles at the first try we become masters by repeatedly trying [and failing in attempt many many times].


Good luck my friend......if my contribuytion is stressing you out please ignore me..........[but i sincerley believe you can turn your life into so much more...if you reach out for support.....even if the support comes from within your very soul reach out]

David

Lonely, Why is the time not right now?? Taking care of you is the number one priority right now. I've sucked it up and made an appointment for Friday even though I feel a lot like you do. Be brave, Lonely!! Look outside yourself for help. Think about how wonderful it would be if you were able to share the wonderfulness of you with other people like you do us. I think that you must be a very beautiful person from reading the words that you write. Lisa

I just can't do it right now. I don't have the time or the energy. I've got too many other problems that are much more pressing. I need to find a new place to live before the end of the month, and since there will never be a person willing to be my roommate, rent will be about 75% of my monthly income, and there's not one place that will approve a lease like that. They won't let me get a cosigner if I'm not a student, and there's a million spoiled college students with a lot more money then me, so they automatically get priority over me. Plus I need to train for my new job which I am terrible at, and if I don't jump through hoops for them I'll be fired. And while I try and fail to do these stupid things for them, I can't help but think to myself that the best ending that I can hope for in life, is to be stuck in a job I don't like, living a cheap, delapidated appartment, while constantly struggling to make enough money to survive. And it would just be so much easier to just lay down and die right now. I don't want to exert so much effort knowing full well my reward will be a life of misery.

Anyway, that's all way off topic, and the point is, I can't have another stupid, depressing problem in my stupid, depressing life. I can't handle it. I don't have the time, the energy, or the patience to try to find a good therapist, especially since I'm struggling to stay employed and to keep a roof over my head.

I'm glad your getting help Lisa; I wish I was capable of doing the same.

Six weeks ago my wife's name was practically in a hat...at her place of work for redundancy ......................she survived [this time]

The first of July i found out my job IS redundant in 3 months........i can apply [along with many other workers] for a job £2,500 more money with six times more work....or one job, £5,000 less money with a similar..... if not more! work load type role....or a job £7,000 less ...or WALK [VIA - REDUNDANCY]


to ......... YESTERDAY HEAR [my area/LOCATION where i work may even shut down completely in December/January because of external local government cuts to services...due to world recesion...and UK MASSIVE ...GOVERNMENT CUTS IN THE PUBLIC SECTOR........

Oh my son [18 years old] 2 weeks ago......... left home after being an arogant ...mean ...rude...abusive young individual towards his mother......

i have watched and heard her cry everyday since...[as she trawls her mind as to what she has done....that caused this young man to show much Angst...and direspect]

My Mother is 85 years old............and riddled with disease............and i worry about her daily.................i am the youngest child of a family of nine.......
[4x brothers...4x sisters]...............................i speak to one....maybe three times a year.......i see him maybe once a year if i can afford to go there.


Other than my beloved wife .[ for whom today i share our 21st wedding anniversary today 19/8 ...alone yet again...though i prefer it that way.... but acknowledgment would be nice from family nearby] ..

i can honestly say i have no friends.....[well at least no one whom i could call and say'''" lets go for a drink" ....a meal ...................or i need helpppppppppppppp].....i know at lot of people as aquantances.....but not well enough to rely on anyone
[ Why??????/ because i have spent 18 years raising my kids....saving all my money for them....holidays...gifts...school...etc.....and polarised my life for their future.....]

Oh.....and i forgot to mention.......... I HAVE BI-POLAR..........And most of my day is consumed with either hurry hurry hurry.................or cry cry cry.........intermittenly cofused with F.../ it.. ...............and thoughts of my own demise..........PLUS.............................. .................................................. ............GUILT/TERROR/FEAR/SADNESS/LONELINESS/ABANDONMENT/APATHY/
BEWILDERMENT/SORROW/MELONCOLY/PAIN/DESPAIR ETC............................................... .................................................. .......
Along with more long standing embarrising physical ailments i care to divulge in....at this time

Oh and i go to work ..............and work with people more socialy / economically/ and mentaly ......even more screwed up than me...........................

I AM ALIVE BECAUSE OF THIS FORUM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CkKuA86Mis

David

vent/rant over....................

We love you David!!