Hello Ted welcome to SOS.....May I use your words in quote

“Darkness is setting in, along with profound sadness -- something beyond depression ("melancholia," perhaps). Again, more and more, I see no way out”.

Question: What Is Melancholia?
Answer: Melancholia is a profound presentation of depression. With this form of depression, there is a complete loss of pleasure in all or almost everything. The start of these episodes is usually not caused by a specific event, and even when something good happens, the individual's mood does not improve, not even for a short time. Melancholic features can be associated with a major depressive episode of Major Depression or Bipolar Disorder I and II.
Possible Presentations:
(at least three of these symptoms must be present for a diagnosis by DSM criteria)
• A distinct depressed mood - one is not simply sad or down due to a life event such as the death of a loved one
• Depression is consistently worse in the morning
• Early morning waking - at least two hours earlier than normal
• Psychomotor disturbances - either retardation (slowing of normal movement) or agitation
• Anorexia or weight loss
• Excessive or inappropriate guilt


Ted Melancholia is Depression.................
In your case brought about by enduring and excruciating pain.....
The pain and the physical conditions you describe and are you undiagnosed with must be so debilitating......
The Melancholia can be treated though!..................and if treated your physical symptoms may improve.
We all tend to see physical disease as the reason of our pain, mainly because the effects it has on our bodies, and the limitations it presents.
But depression is one hell of a beast that does not stop at altering our state of mind.......it literally eats are very body and soul.


M.E= in the UK used to be called YUPie flu......a YUPie was a young upwardly Professional individual.........apparently these young businesses people worked 14 hours a day...went to the gym....drank like fish......worked hard played hard etc............ then got struck down by a debilitating mystery illness that floored them.....some for months some for years..................depression is said to be rife in this condition................but what came first? Chicken or egg

Depression can be present in many Arthritic/immune suppressant conditions/ gastrointestinal conditions...and so on..............

Tom before speculating on your own death........please have your Melancholia treated.............it may alleviate some of the physical trauma you describe.

I crushed to vertebrae in lower spine; nearly twenty years ago.........suffered for years [still do] had facet joint injections and had 7 years free of pain......I have bi-polar 2 which keeps me on my toes, and know 100% my multitude of physical pains result from my mental health..............when I’m low I’m a mess and often fight the lure of suicide [or the beast as we call it on here]
But I keep thinking one day there will be a serious cure for depression.....and hope that will aliviate my other symptoms.......

Tom please stay around you have a great deal to contribute to this forum, and your eloquent manner and educated contribution deserves to be heard.
So stick around for the next forty years and lets share life’s experiences

David