Dear Lonely1

i am so glad to see a post from you!

man, you have had your life turned upside down the past two weeks, eh?

well, at least you now have a place to live. don't worry about moving next year... wait till then to worry about it. who knows, maybe other aspects of your situation will have changed. i just mean, cross that bridge when you come to it. at least the hunt for a place, and the move are mostly over. phew.

i'm in the computer industry so ya'd think, i wouldn't have any trouble with 'puters but actually, when something dies... it completely drives me up a wall... and i don't have a social life besides through internet so... i know what you mean. plus most anything i want to look up nowadays is on internet or otherwise on my machine... sigh. i'm totally computer dependent!

well thank you for checking in. i hope your roommate isn't too annoying from here on out. yakking on the phone till 4.30 has got to stop. with some luck, she won't spend too much time at home?

anyway, welcome back!

~ waves ~

Lonely1...could that book have been A Reason To Live by Melody Beattie?

And I wish you had a name besides lonely1....shall I call you Steve?

Yes, that was the book Alffe, thank you! That would really have come in handy... if I could commit myself to reading it. Maybe I'll go find a copy sometime.

But every time I think about telling people my name over the internet, I have this paranoid thought that someone I know is going to see it, then everyone who's ever met me will know all of my deepest feelings that I would rather keep private. I know this is crazy because, let's face it, I don't know anybody, but I have a really hard time talking about personal stuff with anybody I'm not close to. That's why getting therapy would be so hard...

And Waves, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who would fall apart without their computer, and I won't worry about the next move I'll have to make. I'm good at not thinking about the future. I think that comes naturally with not wanting to live long enough to see said future , but it also makes me very bad at dealing with the problems when they do finally come.

The next problem on my list is getting up for work in the morning; not fun for most people, and absolutely dreadful for me. *Sigh. I wish, not for the first time, and certainly not the last, that there were more good people outside of our little forum.

Don't worry Lonely1

you're not the one who doesn't tell people their name over the internet

~ waves ~ (not my "real" name... although i type it so much i've accidentally signed emails to RL friends that way!!!! OOOPS!!!)

That's fine Steve and waves I'm gonna call you Alice. *grin

Cry

The suicide rate for men is four times that of women. One reason maybe the frquent inability of men to express their deepest needs and feelings.

Hang tough.. Big boys don't cry. Many little boys have learned from their fathers the manly art of stifling grief. But men and women have reasons to cry.

Grieving is a normal part of life. We have tear ducts for a reason. Crying can release fear, hurt, and despair. It can help unfold rage. It's healthy to cry when you need to: it's OK to let others see you cry. In fact, it may help give them permission to feel their feelings.

What we don't feel can hurt us. It can make us tired, withdrawn, confused. It can kill us. Crying can help cleanse pain from the heart and soul

Try crying, even - especially- if you don't like it.

---A Reason To Live....by Melody Beattie

Haha Alffie, you are too funny. Glad Alice and Steve have names now

I actually have signed my emails by Wish too Waves, even have a mug with it at home that I use too.

My mind is jumbled today after reading sooo many new posts here (so excited about this, was stalking SOS a little too much and happy that their is new stuff now)...

But Lonely... we are soooo happy to see you back here although not happy that life is still unhappy.

Some wise man way back when I was struggling day-to-day, once told me two mantras to say to myself over and over to help me get through, and I swear they helped so much. I should probably add them to my signature, now that I think of it. And I've probably already said these a thousand times, but here goes:

(1) This too shall pass.
(2) I will never surrender.

Just tell yourself these things when you are feeling down and just keep your eye on the goal, whatever that is (even if that goal is "finding a goal") it helps us push through. And after finally finding out how to do this, I am trying to now figure out how to (3)"enjoy the journey, not the destination" but atleast we are still chugging (4)"Keep on keeping on" that was another I loved.

But yes, like Alffe said, we are here for you. So wonderful you got your computer figured out. And yes, like you, I worry about my own privacy too.... finding it very difficult to disclose stuff to people, and worrying about who knows what about me. We're only human... *wow, am I full of cliche's today, or what?* But yes, some people I've worked with for years now don't even know anything about me... why is it that we are careful who we can trust? Have we been hurt too much? Whatever the reason, glad you are back!

Wish too Waves???? really?????? you use waves as part of your nick??? LOLOL cool! i have a homonym! in Wish, at least.

i love this. it is meaningful, and pertinent to me, right here, right now. thank you.

Alice in ~Waverland

Hi Lonely1:

My name is Melody. I know absolutely nothing about you because I am very new to this particular forum.

I will say this however, you sound EXACTLY like my son.

Mind if I ask your age, and (I don' mean to pry and you can tell me "go away" and that will be fine, but if you don't mind, I would just like to know if you are in your teens or older (OR MUCH OLDER), and if you have ever been diagnosed (besides depression), with anything else?

Nice to meet you.

thanks much

Melody

Lonely 1, So glad you are back among your friends again. Sorry the move was so rough but I am glad it is over for you. I lived with a supreme snorer for over 17 years and get what a big annoyance that snoring can be. I used those soft earplugs after the kids got big enough to come and get me if they needed anything during the night and that helped some. Hope your night is better. Lisa

Waves, I often try to type "thelonely1" as my user name everywhere, maybe because that's what the most peopl know me as.

Lol Alffe, you can call me Steve if you want to, but isn't there already a Steve in our family?

Wish I do use a couple mantras of my own. They don't typically work, because I don't really believe them, after all I've been waiting for this to pass for so many years, I think the best I can do is to pretend that I'm okay. But I guess it couldn't hurt to try.

Melody, nice to meet you! I'm 22, and I've never been diagnosed with anything else, although I'm sure there are plenty of other mental problems in me, but to a less severe degree. OCD, ADD, stuff like that. And I have all sorts of other undiagnosable and apparently incureable problems with my sinuses/eyes etc. I can even summon, at will, a specific hallucination of little green dots speeding across a white background. Weird huh?

Lisa, thank you for the warm words. I have used earplugs before to combat snoring, but the feeling always bothers me, and I don't like not being able to hear. I'm very finicky about that sort of thing. (hence, probably OCD)

Thanks all for your posts, it was a hard day today at work, but tomorrow I will hopefully not have to go to work, so maybe I'll sleep in a ridiculous amount in the morning. I do that sometimes...