[waves]

WELCOME SB Surfer!

.... extracted your post from another thread which is quite a crossfire.... thought you should have your own "space" ... you still here????

including the citation you quoted, for context...

Originally Posted by lebelvedere

Hello, Dahlek: Thanks for your information and comment. I am resigned now to never having a clearcut diagnosis; rather, I will be sent from doctor to doctor and take test after test, with nothing conclusive being shown at the end. In the meantime, my condition will go from bad to worse. Fate may surprise me, but, again, I doubt it. There seem to be too many things that are not well understood about neuro diseases at present; someday, they will be, but not in my time. So that is what, in your terms, my brain and gumption are telling me. My intuition, which may be wrong, is in play; after all is said and done, all the information and facts and conversations and tests are over, intuition is what remains. I'd like to be optimistic. There is a certain point, however, at which even hope -- the only item that did not escape Pandora's box -- escapes, flies away, never to be seen again.

and your original post:

Originally Posted by SB Surfer

I can totally relate to where you're at. For 12 years I have been plagued with chronic back pain and it just keeps getting worse. Unable to obtain a clear diagnostic picture and hence treatment, I am fighting off suicidal thoughts all of the time. I will be 50 in December. I feel like giving up. I have a great wife and 20 year old twins. They are the only thing keeping me from going through with it. At least I now found this forum where I can talk to others who are capable of genuine empathy. So, you are in good company here I think...

i am glad you have your wife and twins... 12 years is a long time to suffer with chronic pain... it is normal to have suicidal thoughts. sometimes they can be a sort of mental escape too. keep remembering though, that having the thoughts does not mean they must be acted on. they are a manifestation of pain and a potent call to nurture yourself.

i hope we can help you with that. please share more and join in the other threads as you feel able. and keep on keepin on!

~ waves ~