I'm really looking forward to hearing him speak on the 28th of this month.

Here is some of his website...

http://www.centerforloss.com/article...=helping14.php

*********************

Dr.Wolfelt gave an incredible presentation last night and I couldn't help but think about recent survivors who would have benefited from hearing him. It was general to grieving "properly"..my word, he would never have used it! Several things he said resonated with me...

Bereavement actually means = to be torn apart

We do not "overcome" grief, we "surrender" to it

grief feels so much like fear

he believes in mystical experiences

If you understand everything that is going on, you are probably crazy..

And something he said is nagging at me...he touched on aggitated grief, and he caught me looking at Mr.Alffe who was nodding his head in agreement and Dr.Wolfelt said..."I caught that...I believe in body signals". *grin

Todays workshop is from 9 to 3:30 and will be specific to abrupt deaths/suicide...it's for professionals but others are "welcome"...I'm an other...can't wait to hear him again.

The Dr. was meant to catch to catch you and Mr. Alffe, just as you were meant to be there and learn about the good work the doctor is doing by spreading his word.

I am happy to live vicariously through you as you attend today's session.

thanks Alffe! xo

I am struggling to share because he had such an impact on me...so many things he said resonated to my very core...how could he know me so well, how could he "get it", show me how to fix it...had I the funds, you would find me at his feet!!

Share bits with us when you can Alffe.
I'm so glad you're feeling this way

Addy

I had a friend who also was a Pastors wife...this Pastor who is now deceased officiated at Michael funeral..the funeral I don't remember...but I remember very well what my friend said to me..."Michael went straight to hell". Why she thought I'd find comfort in that is beyond me..but maybe she wanted to "teach" me something about God or the bible and her intention was not to comfort me...I guess she thought I didn't deserve to be comforted.

I say all that because on page 42 of this wonderful book, the good doctor writes:

"It was not all that long ago that suicide was considered a sin by many of the major bodies of faith. Historically, it was considered by many not just a sin, but an unpardonable sin.

Thank God we now have religious leaders and well-respected theologians who are compassionately and non-judgmentally educating people that suicide is not a sin. As one Catholic priest observed about suicide, "When its victims wake on the other side, they are met by a gentle Christ who stands right inside of their huddled fear and says, "Peace be with you!" As we see in the gospels, God can go through locked doors, breathe out peace in places where we cannot get in, and write straight with even the most crooked of lines."
But watch out for some people who do continue to preach that suicide is a sin. Find people who recognize that faith is about being open to the mystery. I always like to remind myself that "mystery" -the ancient name for God - is something to be pondered, not explained. If someone starts preaching to you that suicide is a sin and that your loved one has gone to hell, get the heck away from him or her as fast as you can."

*Understanding Your suicide Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D

http://www.embracingourlosses.com/grief-loss.html

Listen....two ears, one mouth - use them proportionately...*grin

Dear Ms. Alffe. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad this experience has been so very good for you. Makes my heart warm.

The going to hell thing...I have parents who believe that. I wish they were what I would consider a 'true Christian'. And I probably can't explain that very well. I guess they are very old school and have a low tolerance. Suicide, homosexuality, etc., for them are direct routes to hell. *sigh

How anyone could think that someone who takes their own life is going to be punished eternally in 'hell' is beyond my comprehension.

Again, thank you for sharing something so important and revealing to you.

((Alffe))

There is no hell.

How awful of a friend to say that to you - but I guess the Dr. was right saying to get the hell away from people like that. But then again, when it's family saying those things, what can you do?

I know I keep going on a different page here, but speaking of religiousity, I've often wondered about spirituality and death. I like the image of Christ saying "peace be with you" especially since christianity is supposed to be about forgiveness. It seems like such a hypocrisy to say some things are forgiveable, while others are not? Anyways, I also often wonder about people that are terminally ill and become uber-religious before death as well. I've wondered about the reasons behind this, and how this may be looked upon in heaven/hell as well as the whole theory behind "no-such-thing-as-altruism" and Mother Theresa only being generous to help herself get closer to God. Just some wonders that perhaps should belong in the Wonder Thread. I'm glad you are sharing with us bits and pieces of your conference you went to. I remember the last conference I went to on Trauma, that impacted me so profoundly. The speaker was amazing and her life is going to be a movie soon. Wish I could've gone to yours too.

Barbo you okay? lurking alot. Hell just seems like another one of those hypocrisies too, huh? Why are some people forgiven and others not? Why are some people chosen and others not? Is that fair? And are some people truly EVIL and unforgiveable if all are supposed to be the children of God? I am by no means a religious person AT ALL - haven't been to church in years and years - and question it all the time, perhaps that is the existential in me that is so curious to find so many answers that just don't exist. (I've been talking way too much today!)