We are all so raw when we lose our moms... my heart truly goes out to you ... and I think you need reminders, as I do, that we only lost our mom's very recently.... and very suddenly - no warning whatsoever except that we new someday we'd lose our mom... we never let ourselves go to where we are living today.

I was "spared" finding my mom as you did. She and I had a "good-bye" dinner together the night before I was driving back to live here at the coast. She told me how she knew I was making the right decision to be near my sons and grand-daughter. We said I love you and hugged goodbye. I walked down the hall and she shut her door.

The next day I drove away... this is the day they said we lost her... in her sleep... all wrapped up and cozy, the way she like it... her apartment spotless. Like you, it was my sister who found my mom 2 days later.

So... I was not around for any of the clearing up ... I sometimes wish I could have shared that burden with my sister but the selfish me knows that I am much healthier for not having experienced it... ya, so I guess that's selfish ....

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you have a huge bunch of friends here that will hold you up
I know how tough this is!

xo Addy

So sorry....

ok..... now you got me crying LOL good tears...... sigh.......

I guess this topic brings back vivid memories of my dad passing at home when I was 13. major Heart attack
I didnt find him I ... I watched it happen .Its was a hard one for me was ha still is in some ways. certain things of what happened are extra slow motion and tattooed there. but things... God maybe or the natural order of the big picture some how allow time and healing to make things a little bit more easier to bear.
dear Goofy sis please know and believe with out any doubt my invisible world wide web ( www ) arms are giving you a hug .I am really sorry you are going threw this but know you have friends that care and love you.. friends that have been on that road. and we are here for you to help hold you up.

I also want to share that even tho my dad is not walking in human skins alive ... it happens very very often I feel he is right beside me and my family.

If you ever wanna talk email me .
sending strength, lots peaceful fun memories to over take the not so nice ones,
and
PEACE
BMW

Dr.Wolfelt says "grief must be embraced little by little, in small bits, with breaks in between. This dosing helps you survive what would, if absorbed in its totality all at once, probably kill you."

He goes on.."When you don't honor a death loss by acknowledging it, first to yourself and then to those around you, the grief will accumulate. Then the denied losses come flowing out in all sorts of potential ways (e.g., deep depression, physical complaints, difficulty in relationships, addictive behaviors),compounding the pain of your loss."*

---*Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

My words....Goofy, I know your mom didn't kill herself but grieving someone we love is like being alone in a great "wilderness". Wolfelts word.

Goofy,
I am fairly new to this board.. and so I haven't heard your story and don't know what you are going through--except that you have lost your mom.
I can't imagine losing my mom.. and there have been several times in the last year where I thought I had--and the hours (yes, hours) spent thinking she was gone.. were the most horrible times in my life.. (4 hours yesterday.. I was sure she was gone..)
I don't know how old you are.. and what happened to your mom.. I think most people expect that someday, we will all lose our parents... but when it happens quickly or before our time (when we think it should happen--which would be ideally never.. but there's a bit difference in suddenly losing someone and losing a 90 year old parent who is slowly declining in health).. it is tough.
I have a dear friend who lost her father a year ago (to cancer) and lost her mom this summer (to cancer).. her and her brother are both in their early 20s, and now they are trying to live life and deal with finances and bills while grieving the loss of both parents.. I can't imagine.
Just as with my friend, I wish I had the "right" words to say to you... I wish I could say something or do something to make it all better.. I wish that I could just give you a big hug and sit and listen to you talk about how wonderful she was.. and what you really miss about her..
I don't know you, but I would be so grateful to have the honor to be your friend and walk through this painful time with you... and like I said, while I wish I had the words to say to ease the pain.. I would gladly do whatever it is that would help you in any way..
I care about you, and I've only seen you around a few times.. I know there are plenty of people on here who have gotten the chance to know you and your story--and it is obvious that they love you and care for you, too.
Take care of yourself... keep talking/letting us know you're around.. and if and when you want to talk... I'll be here-and I'm sure all the others will, too.