Parents who survive the death of a child by suicide ask themselves hundreds of questions. Of these, the hardest question to answer may be this one: "Does the death of my child by suicide mean we were bad parents?"

Suicide flies in the face of every hope and dream we have for our children and for ourselves as parents. We expect our children to grow and thrive and contribute to society. We expect ourselves to nurture and sustain our offspring into productive adulthood. Every birth is accompanied by hope and expectation and joy. Death by suicide brings despair and great sadness and a sense of failure to the parents left behind.

By Steven Murphy, LOSS member Obelisk, Dec. 2009 Newsletter of The Loss Program, Chicago, Ill.

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This is a portion of an article from my sos newsletter from Dane County this month. It resounded with a lot of us who lost children to suicide.
This "ending" was such a contradiction of their lives and their love of life.

It brought on quite a few conversations at the last meeting and validated some of our claims to have been good parents and now, struggling to survive what they have wrought by their action. And it was pointed out to me, that while I seem to find some comfort in believing that Michael's act was an impulsive one....others struggle with their loved ones purchasing guns in the days prior to using them.

The lesson is always the same one...do not do this to the people who love you...it ruins lives and we are forever changed.