Holidays are among the hardest times for those who have lost a loved one. They are so fraught with family ritual, the layered memories of years.

Sometimes we feel free to talk about it - indeed, there's no way not to talk about it if the grief is fresh.

But after some time has passed, when the grief is in the background but not really yet assimulated into our lives, it may be even harder - the dull ache of absence, and everyone trying to be cheerful.

One year - the first year we tried to go back to our usual Christmas patterns - the unspoken gloom hovered behind our attempts at joy and repartee. Suddenly, almost as though by unspoken direction, we gathered in a circle, our arms around one another, and acknowledged our grief. Then we could get on with Christmas.

Healing After Loss Martha Whitmore Hickman


Special hugs to Goofy, Addy and BMW.