Death touches all of our lives sooner or later. Sometimes it is expected, as with the passing of an elderly relative; sometimes it comes suddenly in the form of a tragic accident.

But suicide is different. The person you have lost seems to have chosen death, and that simple fact makes a world of difference for those left to grieve. The suicide survivor faces all the same emotions as anyone who mourns a death, but they also face a somewhat unique set of painful feelings on top of their grief...

GUILT. Rarely in other deaths do we encounter any feelings of responsibility. Diseases, accidents, old age...we know instinctively that we cannot cause or control these things. But the suicide survivor - even if they were only on the periphery of the deceases's life - invariably feels that they might have, could have, or should have done something to prevent the suicide. This mistaken assumption is the suicide survivor's greatest enemy.

STIGMA. Society still attaches a stigma to suicide, and it is largely misunderstood. While mourners usually receive sympathy and compassion, the suicide survivor may encounter blame, judgement, or exclusion.

ANGER. It's not uncommon to feel some form of anger toward a lost loved one, but it's intensified for survivors of suicide. For us, the person we lost is also the murderer of the person we lost, bringing new meaning to the term "love-hate" relationship.

DISCONNECTION. When we lose a loved one to disease or an accident, it is easier to retain happy memories of them. We know that, if they could choose, they would still be here with us. But it's not as easy for the suicide survivor. Because our loved one seems to have made a choice that is abhorrent to us, we feel disconnected and "divorced" from their memory. We are in a state of conflict with them, and we are left to resolve that conflict alone.

*SOS A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide by Jeffrey Jackson