I am not 100% sure where to start with my story or what advice I may be looking for at this point but I guess let me start with my divorce. I was married for 10 years and my exwife has a history of mental instability. Towards the end of our relationship it grew increasingly worse and she nolonger desired to attempt to get help. She decided to inform me she was leaving while driving me home from outpatient surgery for my gallblader. Things went down hill very quickly as I discovered there was someone else in the picture who was still married and had a very serious drug problem. The divorce was not easy or quick but I ended up with sole custody of our son who was 10 at the time. I worked with her family and tried to keep communication open. This stopped when my ex decided to attempt suicide. They cut off all communication with me and with my son. Over the next few months my son and I tried to adjust our lives and return to some sense of normalcy. Roughly 5 months after the divorce was finalized I met someone and started to date. I waited another 4 months before introducing them to my son. We progressed over the next 6 months with our relationship and things were progressing well. My son bonded with this new person to the point that the following summer he gave her his mother's pin from boy scouts. 16 months into the relationship I proposed. I had a long discussion with my son every step of the way during the relationship to let him know that his oppinion was important and to make sure he was comfortable. Two weeks after she accepted the ring she left. No warning no discussion, she was just done. It has been another 4 plus months since this happened. Through and after my initial divorce I took my son to see a counselor to see how he was feeling and to make sure I was on the right track with my actions. I tried speaking to my son after the second break up and let him talk to someone and he seemed fine with everything.

Now about my son ... he is a straight A student, part of the gifted program for his school and in Boy Scouts. He is very outgoing and always been very sociable. He does not have a lot of close friends and rarely brings friends over or goes to their house. 2 weeks ago his grades started to slip because he was not doing his homework. I tried to dig to what the problem was and got the responses of "i forgot" or "I didn't want to do it". We spent the next week working together to get all of his assignments caught up and turned in for what credit he could still get for them. This past week I saw that there were more zeroes showing up in his grades so I asked him about it and found out he was lying the previous week about what assignments were still due and what homework he had over the weekend. We discussed his plan to get working on those and that his grounding from videogames would continue and that he would be grounded from his cell phone. I left work early to come hone and see what I could do and to try and talk to him again to find out what issues there were. When I walked in the door he was chugging alcohol mixed with pesticides.

He has been in a local mental hospital for the last 4 days and during my visit today he disclosed he has been being bullied at school. I had no idea this was going on and saw no change in his behaviour other than the homework. I am shocked and hurt and not sure how to deal with all of this. I went to his counselor and was told that some of this could be residual from the divorce. He only sees his mother once every 60 to 90 days and she has very little knowledge of his life. She does not attend any of his school or boy scout functions and has recently gotten remarried.

I don't know where to turn for help. I know he is being treated and will soon get feedback fromt he facility and I have already lined up after care and plan to speak to his school and the boy scouts for additional support but is that the right thing to do?

I am hurt, mad, confused, baffled, and not sure what to do. I am single and my son comes home from school and is by himself for about an hour and a half before I get here. I don't know what I may have missed in his behaviour that would have given me an indication that he was contemplating this. Can I leave him alone? Do I need to try and change schools?

Other questions I have are:

Should I attempted to have his mother involved in his recovery?

How do I stop feeling like I have done something wrong or missed something?

I know intelectually this is not my fault but how do I get past that?

How can I believe it would ever be ok to leave him alone again?

I know there are more questions and problems but I am just so drained and confused right now that I don't know how to figure any of it out. I am seeking help for him and me, individually and together but I just feel so alone and have very little help or support.

Thanks and if there is any advice anyone could give I would appreciate it.

Also, sorry for the poor spelling. I'm a math guy.