[DMACK]

What a month...................

my eldest son turned 20.............[and is to become a father in August].....my youngest son tuned 18 yesterday,,,,,,,,,,,,,University in September [god willing]

Me...................i gave training to 40 staff [1-day] three weeks ago..............then 25 homeless clients for a full week the week after..................

I then read Alffes post on hypersensitive people..........wohhhhh

For those who by now know me.......im definitively volatile........to say the least......if ever i have offended it was never intentional........always.... my words were written with care and hope for a conclusion to your concerns...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7oTlUZImTw&feature=fvst

So why i am i writing this?...............

It is a long tine since i joined this community...and i would not be alive without it...............
but i am exhausted truly exhausted by such saddness............which utterly consumes my waking day...........................i try by the minute to make my existence mean something................so that my survival means ...............SOMETHING TO OTHERS

Hear me now............ suicide is not the exit of this thread..............this is just a farewell from cyber space ..................a break i need [and one.. maybe many of you need.this ...TOO................you must be sick to death of my songs...& drunken rants....]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML_-d-UFOkg

I struggle with my emotions at the best of time............but today i just cant stop crying,,,,,,,,,,,,is it that my kids are now adults and i feel redundant,,,,,,,,,is it because i continue to worry for them as young adults..............is it my life that's been on hold for 20 years and now i am awake...i don't honestly know........

my job has taken a different path and hopefully a god one training those i truly hope to inspire and empower.........[but as last week proved this drains me...............]

thank you for all of your support and advice over the years........again my sincere apologies if i upset you in any way..............

if anyone would like to e-mail me now and then send me a pm..........i'll get right back to you//

couldn't resist this finale..........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfF25gxllfg


David