I wonder that it is time for a new wonder thread

I wonder that i have not been myself in months but fighting off any heavy sadness ,thanks to my friends .

I wonder that there has been to many times I find myself sitting and wonder about all the thoughts that went threw my best pals mind the moments before she completed ending her life. Wonder that I DO NOT think she was giving in or giving up. I think and believe she is/was brave more then anyone can or will ever know. wonder that gosh darn I miss the heck out of her sooo badly

I wonder that I have not been posting in my usual t.n. forum here and it is cus I feel my work is done there.

I wonder how much Addy has inspired me and I have my new year resolution ... to learn how to crochet . Wonder if there is a book crocheting for dummies ??? wonder if Addy knows she filled a sad empty spot somewhere inside me today and I want to thank her. addy .

wonder that i too have a small pile of posties I HAVE NOT mailed out yet... wonder if i should just put them in holiday card and do it in one shot.

wonder on this time of year and all our clients ALWAYS fall and are injured , find out they are ill with some serious illness or they pass away. wonder that with those clients and missing those who have passed it is truly depressing.

wonder that I am NOT putting up a tree or decorating at all this year . I will be in a tent on a beach collecting sea shells and maybe lucky enough to catch a fish for Christmas dinner . wonder that I will have blue string of lights on outside of my tent so ..wonder if that counts as holiday decorating?

I wonder that my youngest will be 18 Monday and we will go together later in month she for a piercing and me for my very first tattoo in honor of my best friend who is in heaven now. a promise we made as kids.

Wonder on a new year and praying wishing hoping can sell and move outta here.
wonder on prayers and hugs to EVERYONE...readers lurkers and posters. I love my family here.
PEACE
BMW

((((BMW)))) Love, Barbo]

I wonder that I'm too tired and content right now to wonder much...

I wonder if that's cuz I came home from work... changed into my jammies... checked my email and discovered my neighbour had invited me upstairs for dinner!

Marshmallow-friend, I wonder what you will choose for a tattooo??? and I hope that you put it somewhere that you can look at it (well, that's my wish if ever I would have a tattoo... so, um , you can put yours wherever you know it will give the greatest sense of contentment)...

love all my family here....

I wonder if I can give a shout-out to Lonely1 and Lara and a hug to them and everyone

wonder that I DID IT I have all my posties in holiday cards all stamped and ready for mail tomorrow.
wonder that my b.f. and I made deal when we was kids if I went first she gets a sunflower and Wonder well since I am still here I get a butterfly...which is so fitting cus I kept the secret wonder ,like the Indian saying ..have a secret tell a butterfly ... so wonder that I am have a butterfly or 2 of them one on inside of my right heel wonder the other on outside of left calf...so when i cross my feet /legs the butterflies will be together.lols.

wonder I am just holding on going through the motions waiting for a change... but as I said in one of my posties..perhaps it is I that need to change

wonder that there is a better place to be then where I am right now.. wonder that I know there is cus I was there before ..wonder I just dont know how I got away from there.. I want to be there again .


wonder on hugs to the room the Readers and those on the side lines...i know most arent in a better place then me THEY ARE JUST LIKE ME ...even if it feels like i am alone or the only one ... I am not. I wish i could change that ..for everyone. I can only hope and pray and I am doing that.
PEACE
BMW

I wonder how hard this holiday will be for so many people who miss loved ones...

I wonder how long before those memories will bring us joy instead of pain..

I wonder that my baby sister made me smile about it snowing in Wisconsin...be careful what you wish for Alffe!

I wonder how much I am looking forward to being at our oldest daughters for Christmas.....everyone coming.

I wonder if I can leave hugs for our forum family...

I wonder whether all who need to be here will chance the exposure to post..

I wonder whether people the world wide will come together in peace, no guns..

I wonder whether those butterflies on BMW, my friend, will bring great joy...

I wonder at the great discovery BMW achieved in reaching peace work is finished in one spot so doors and windows may be opened to BMW light in other places....

I wonder at the JOY perspective brings when at Christmastime, for those who celebrate, one may look at three letters and realize, Jesu first, Others second, Yourself third.... a perspective which fosters outreach such as this..

I wonder at families travelling at this time of year and pray safety will preserve them...

I wonder at having shared the afternoon decorating sugar cookies with 5 year old Micahla who was thrilled to be "all grown up" and reaching the counter to spoon frosting carefully in quilty designs which inspire smiles.....

I wonder whether we may approach life as childres, wandering through life with eyes wide open to the wonders all around......

Ahhhhhhh......... Hugs for Alffe and everyone else!

I wonder if it's ok that I reflect on this last year... get things off my heart...out of my head.

I wonder that I never dreamed I would have a nightmare year.

I wonder that I never dreamed I would lose my mini-me, my 22 year old niece because of someone else's neglegence and someone else's wanted purpose.

I wonder that I never dreamed I would lose my pain doctor with no notice. Still don't have a new one. I guess they are getting few and far between.

I wonder that I never dreamed my 2 year old nephew would fall 14ft onto his head, fracturing his skull just above his eye in 2 places....he was lifeflighted to the childrens hospital.

I wonder that I never dreamed my mom would get colon cancer. They got it all... so far so good. More tests tomorrow.

I wonder that I lose my trusted Psychiatrist tomorrow, her last day. I have an appointment with her at 1pm. She is leaving...taking a position in-patient.... I am out-patient. I am wondering how to say goodbye after 2.5 years. I don't trust easy... I trusted her completely. Everytime I think about it, I cry....buckets.

I wonder what else can or will happen in the next 21 days. Oh what a year.

Abbie

Words fail me Abbie ((((Abbie)))) Love, Barbo

When my parents made drastically incorrect decisions regarding me long ago

When my most emotionally close cousin passed in a car crash when I was 15

When another cousing was murdered in horrible horrible circumstances

When I was so hurt in a car crash 34 surgeries finally put Humpty together again, but not before the millions we had accumulated after appropriatedly paying taxes, expenses, children's educations, and giving so others might live..... were lost to the very penny and my career was totally gone, our home gone,

When one of our little ones manifested schizoaffective disorder

When our first grandchild passed at birth last year from horrific defects

Then when all seemed taken away except for my wife and children and our faith, we began to understand the very real power of that faith

rebuilding occurred

Humpty was rebuilt

my career restored by LOTS of hard work and expanded

we now have a home again

wealth? None measured in gold, but bucket loads in love and faith and hope.

Then the sharing of those tidbits of gold with others who had need in outreach because it propelled me beyond the safety of the wall I had built to keep others out.

One of the outreach methods is my typing here

another a job seekers group started to help others find gainful work

more in visiting elders who are lonely and things like that

being in the pit where it was dark and my thoughts could easily overwhelm

I was so comfortable thinking about terminal methods and opportunities

shining light on my dark pit through faith I was delivered to be of value again just as you are Abbie.

Every issue about which you write is an agony without any doubt

each is equally an opportunity for faith to bring you up to light

where there is a safe means to be enriched for others

anyway......... it is the only way I was released from the agony of emotion

so I pray for you if that is OK.

One who Cares.

I awaken to a crest of new fallen snow across our area

so drought ridden the soil begged for moisture

thus

I wonder at the beauty, the life bearing blessing of newly fallen SNOW!!