It is getting harder and harder everyday to watch my Mom slip away.

I have really already mourned her loss, because the Mom I've know all my life is hardly ever in there.

But it gets so hard to keep smiling and caring for her day after day and see no end in sight.

This will sound awful, BUT I KNOW I AM SAFE HERE......I almost wish she had a terminal illness, "MOM" would not want to live this way.

((((Jaded))) I completely understand where you are coming from. My mother cared for my dad for as long as she could...he became violent and would throw things at her, told us she was poisoning him. We put him in a nursing home and she would visit him everyday...sometimes he knew her/us but I preferred it when he didn't...when he didn't know where he was. The day he finally died my sister was with him and when mom and I returned there from our lunch at a nearby restaurant he had already died. My mother was so upset that she wasn't with him...I was glad he died.

They call it the "long goodbye"....to me, it's cruel and inhuman to watch someone we love....go on and on and on.

We shoot horses. Come vent anytime dear lady.

Hugs for you Jaded and for you too Alffe.
Keep yourself as well and as strong as you can.

This may sound awful too but do you have to smile? I think it's okay to show your feelings. Don't be harder on yourself than necessary.