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-   -   Suicide: Choice? (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/191358-suicide-choice.html)

eva5667faliure 03-30-2014 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 999457)
By Al Estock

Choice, as it relates to suicide, remains a somewhat controversial subject. Many people insist that those who die by suicide make a final "choice" to die. Respectfully, I disagree. The word choice makes it much to neat and simple - as though suicide was as easy as selecting a pair of shoes or a tie.
Suicide is so much more complex.

Truth is - the only person who makes a true "choice" to die by suicide is a person with a fully functional, rational mind - free of mental challenge/distress-and capable of making the choice to die from a variety of options they clearly understand, with all consequences equally apparent.

Sadly, the vast majority of suicides result from underlying, untreated, mistreated, or unsuccessfully treated mental challenges - often including
major depression. The stigma/silence that surrounds any constructive discussion about mental challenge provides the first strike toward suicide. Few want to admit to having mental issues. Even fewer care to discuss them. The second strike is born by shame, humiliation, and/or hopelessness felt by the person with thoughts of suicide - and the desperate need they often feel to keep such feelings and thoughts secret. The third and final strike occurs when the person is unable to see any path but suicide to relieve their mental torment.

Suicide is not about choice - it is about lack of choice. One cannot make a choice if one is unable to comprehend that a spectrum of other choices exists. It is not the case that those that die from irrational suicide make a bad choice, the wrong choice - a tragic, final "choice" - they simply follow the only path they are able to understand that will end the mental pain they feel. Of course, we, as survivors, see the multitude of rational choices that could have been made.

Bottom line - most suicides do not result from a "choice" - they most often result from an illness process that robs the deceased of the ability to make a rational choice, The deceased did not ask for the illness, nor did they understand or choose the consequences. Our society does not blame people who die from cancer, heart disease, kidney disease, liver failure, or stroke for "choosing" their deaths. It is long overdue that the burden of blame, shame and "choice" is lifted from those that die by suicide. Most did not want to die; they simply needed to escape from pain. Their illness prevented any glimmer of a choice.

**************************************

This excellent article was the SOS newsletter that arrived today. It originated in Obelisk Oct. 2012 catholiccharities.net/loss

So beautifully said
Doing homework of my heritage
it is sad to see a culture of persons
I am of Hungarian decent
speak read and write
I have come to learn
There is a anthem for
suicide called "Gloomy Sunday"
baffling to me
and the modern alternative is alcohol
anyone interested in the logic behind it
just type in Hungarian and suicide
Now my dads suicide even though there
was a note
It too typical for Hungarians as it
is a heroic act
Vengeful
How many times we were wrapped around
her legs
Watching our father told not to speak to
him
This man did not know if he was coming or
going
Then the make up we were forgotten
But just until the next fight
Compelled to know of my heritage
I learn of this sad truth
Thank you for allowing me to share

Alffe 09-04-2015 06:22 PM

Bumping up this old thread about choices, one of many old threads that discuss the "right to die". Suggest doing an advance search if interested.

Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

icelander 09-15-2015 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1168662)
Bumping up this old thread about choices, one of many old threads that discuss the "right to die". Suggest doing an advance search if interested.

Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

Even before this terrible illness I've been and advocate for right of choice for all. It's the only logical position IMO. Most have a hard time with that considering most can't keep from being emotional and then taking their emotional state for a logical stance on a subject. Well I've never seen that work out well.

So, considering all the disease states the body/mind can get itself into, some with unrelenting pain the one true gift of nature to the human animal is suicide. Instead of seeing this as a true blessing (remember we all die anyway) most see it as a curse and fear it so much they must vilify or attempt to legislate that gift away. Not just for themselves but to infringe on the rights of others. BTW I'd like to see in the Bible where it specifically prohibits suicide. This is an invention of the priests rather than a dictate from scripture IMO.

And on and on. A free man or woman will act on their own behalf based on their own assessment of their own life and that's the way it should be.

Here's Schopenhauer on the subject. (philosopher)
ON SUICIDE.



"As far as I can see, it is only the followers of monotheistic, that is
of Jewish, religions that regard suicide as a crime. This is the more
striking as there is no forbiddance of it, or even positive disapproval
of it, to be found either in the New Testament or the Old; so that
teachers of religion have to base their disapprobation of suicide on
their own philosophical grounds; these, however, are so bad that they
try to compensate for the weakness of their arguments by strongly
expressing their abhorrence of the act--that is to say, by abusing it.
We are told that suicide is an act of the greatest cowardice, that it is
only possible to a madman, and other absurdities of a similar nature; or
they make use of the perfectly senseless expression that it is
"_wrong_," while it is perfectly clear that no one has such indisputable
right over anything in the world as over his own person and life.
Suicide, as has been said, is computed a crime, rendering
inevitable--especially in vulgar, bigoted England--an ignominious
burial and the confiscation of the property; this is why the jury almost
always bring in the verdict of insanity. Let one's own moral feelings
decide the matter for one. Compare the impression made upon one by the
news that a friend has committed a crime, say a murder, an act of
cruelty or deception, or theft, with the news that he has died a
voluntary death. Whilst news of the first kind will incite intense
indignation, the greatest displeasure, and a desire for punishment or
revenge, news of the second will move us to sorrow and compassion;
moreover, we will frequently have a feeling of admiration for his
courage rather than one of moral disapproval, which accompanies a wicked
act. Who has not had acquaintances, friends, relatives, who have
voluntarily left this world? And are we to think of them with horror as
criminals? _Nego ac pernego_! I am rather of the opinion that the clergy
should be challenged to state their authority for stamping--from the
pulpit or in their writings--as a _crime_ an act which has been
committed by many people honoured and loved by us, and refusing an
honourable burial to those who have of their own free will left the
world. They cannot produce any kind of Biblical authority, nay, they
have no philosophical arguments that are at all valid; and it is
_reasons_ that we want; mere empty phrases or words of abuse we cannot
accept. If the criminal law forbids suicide, that is not a reason that
holds good in the church; moreover, it is extremely ridiculous, for what
punishment can frighten those who seek death? When a man is punished for
trying to commit suicide, it is his clumsy failure that is punished."

Alffe 09-16-2015 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icelander (Post 1171135)
Even before this terrible illness I've been and advocate for right of choice for all. It's the only logical position IMO. Most have a hard time with that considering most can't keep from being emotional and then taking their emotional state for a logical stance on a subject. Well I've never seen that work out well.

So, considering all the disease states the body/mind can get itself into, some with unrelenting pain the one true gift of nature to the human animal is suicide. Instead of seeing this as a true blessing (remember we all die anyway) most see it as a curse and fear it so much they must vilify or attempt to legislate that gift away. Not just for themselves but to infringe on the rights of others. BTW I'd like to see in the Bible where it specifically prohibits suicide. This is an invention of the priests rather than a dictate from scripture IMO.

And on and on. A free man or woman will act on their own behalf based on their own assessment of their own life and that's the way it should be.

Here's Schopenhauer on the subject. (philosopher)
ON SUICIDE.



"As far as I can see, it is only the followers of monotheistic, that is
of Jewish, religions that regard suicide as a crime. This is the more
striking as there is no forbiddance of it, or even positive disapproval
of it, to be found either in the New Testament or the Old; so that
teachers of religion have to base their disapprobation of suicide on
their own philosophical grounds; these, however, are so bad that they
try to compensate for the weakness of their arguments by strongly
expressing their abhorrence of the act--that is to say, by abusing it.
We are told that suicide is an act of the greatest cowardice, that it is
only possible to a madman, and other absurdities of a similar nature; or
they make use of the perfectly senseless expression that it is
"_wrong_," while it is perfectly clear that no one has such indisputable
right over anything in the world as over his own person and life.
Suicide, as has been said, is computed a crime, rendering
inevitable--especially in vulgar, bigoted England--an ignominious
burial and the confiscation of the property; this is why the jury almost
always bring in the verdict of insanity. Let one's own moral feelings
decide the matter for one. Compare the impression made upon one by the
news that a friend has committed a crime, say a murder, an act of
cruelty or deception, or theft, with the news that he has died a
voluntary death. Whilst news of the first kind will incite intense
indignation, the greatest displeasure, and a desire for punishment or
revenge, news of the second will move us to sorrow and compassion;
moreover, we will frequently have a feeling of admiration for his
courage rather than one of moral disapproval, which accompanies a wicked
act. Who has not had acquaintances, friends, relatives, who have
voluntarily left this world? And are we to think of them with horror as
criminals? _Nego ac pernego_! I am rather of the opinion that the clergy
should be challenged to state their authority for stamping--from the
pulpit or in their writings--as a _crime_ an act which has been
committed by many people honoured and loved by us, and refusing an
honourable burial to those who have of their own free will left the
world. They cannot produce any kind of Biblical authority, nay, they
have no philosophical arguments that are at all valid; and it is
_reasons_ that we want; mere empty phrases or words of abuse we cannot
accept. If the criminal law forbids suicide, that is not a reason that
holds good in the church; moreover, it is extremely ridiculous, for what
punishment can frighten those who seek death? When a man is punished for
trying to commit suicide, it is his clumsy failure that is punished."


Survivors of Suicide
Who are we? And why do we hang out here?

Some of us have lost a loved one to suicide...some of us are feeling so crushed by life that we want it to end.

We come together for support..we count on each other to pick us up, dust us off and give us a reason to try some more.

We don't judge people in this forum and we ask not to be judged ourselves.
When you share here, we promise to listen with our hearts.

All are welcome....especially lurkers!

Wren 09-16-2015 10:38 AM

"we count on each other to pick us up, dust us off and give us a reason to try some more"
Thanks - lots of thanks - for the fine people who do this. May God bless you.

icelander 09-16-2015 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1171336)
Survivors of Suicide
Who are we? And why do we hang out here?

Some of us have lost a loved one to suicide...some of us are feeling so crushed by life that we want it to end.

We come together for support..we count on each other to pick us up, dust us off and give us a reason to try some more.

We don't judge people in this forum and we ask not to be judged ourselves.
When you share here, we promise to listen with our hearts.

All are welcome....especially lurkers!

Have I judged someone in your mind? Because in mine I have not. I try never to judge those who are suffering. I support any and all choices one makes for themselves.

Alffe 09-16-2015 02:41 PM

I understand that you believe in choices, and so do I. But some of your explanations for your choice comes across as judgmental and perhaps defensive? I'm glad we are talking about this and I hope I have not offended you. That was not my intent. :hug:

icelander 09-16-2015 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1171393)
I understand that you believe in choices, and so do I. But some of your explanations for your choice comes across as judgmental and perhaps defensive? I'm glad we are talking about this and I hope I have not offended you. That was not my intent. :hug:

No you have not, nor was it my intent. If I ever am judgmental I hope it's against those who are judging or trying to control others. I grew up in a very religious home and everything good and natural in me was judged as sinful so I know how that can feel.

I'm not sure what exactly you are referring to in my posts but if it had to deal with what I posted about nothing in the Bible condemning suicide I posted that for anyone, who like me, was brought up thinking it was a sin and in the Bible.

Anyway I have strong feelings about this issue for sure. My goal is to support choice in the individual. It's not up to me what that choice should be. I hope this has clarified things a little as I try very hard not to offend if it can be helped. We are all struggling here. :hug:

Alffe 09-17-2015 05:49 AM

thank you for clarifying that. When our Michael killed himself our Pastors wife told me he went straight to hell. :confused:

icelander 09-17-2015 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1171520)
thank you for clarifying that. When our Michael killed himself our Pastors wife told me he went straight to hell. :confused:

Yes, this is why I posted this. How very cruel she was. I'll leave it at that.


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