By Al Estock

Choice, as it relates to suicide, remains a somewhat controversial subject. Many people insist that those who die by suicide make a final "choice" to die. Respectfully, I disagree. The word choice makes it much to neat and simple - as though suicide was as easy as selecting a pair of shoes or a tie.
Suicide is so much more complex.

Truth is - the only person who makes a true "choice" to die by suicide is a person with a fully functional, rational mind - free of mental challenge/distress-and capable of making the choice to die from a variety of options they clearly understand, with all consequences equally apparent.

Sadly, the vast majority of suicides result from underlying, untreated, mistreated, or unsuccessfully treated mental challenges - often including
major depression. The stigma/silence that surrounds any constructive discussion about mental challenge provides the first strike toward suicide. Few want to admit to having mental issues. Even fewer care to discuss them. The second strike is born by shame, humiliation, and/or hopelessness felt by the person with thoughts of suicide - and the desperate need they often feel to keep such feelings and thoughts secret. The third and final strike occurs when the person is unable to see any path but suicide to relieve their mental torment.

Suicide is not about choice - it is about lack of choice. One cannot make a choice if one is unable to comprehend that a spectrum of other choices exists. It is not the case that those that die from irrational suicide make a bad choice, the wrong choice - a tragic, final "choice" - they simply follow the only path they are able to understand that will end the mental pain they feel. Of course, we, as survivors, see the multitude of rational choices that could have been made.

Bottom line - most suicides do not result from a "choice" - they most often result from an illness process that robs the deceased of the ability to make a rational choice, The deceased did not ask for the illness, nor did they understand or choose the consequences. Our society does not blame people who die from cancer, heart disease, kidney disease, liver failure, or stroke for "choosing" their deaths. It is long overdue that the burden of blame, shame and "choice" is lifted from those that die by suicide. Most did not want to die; they simply needed to escape from pain. Their illness prevented any glimmer of a choice.

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This excellent article was the SOS newsletter that arrived today. It originated in Obelisk Oct. 2012 catholiccharities.net/loss

My favorite part of the post!!!!!


Suicide is so much more complex.


Bottom line - Most did not want to die; they simply needed to escape from pain. Their illness prevented any glimmer of a choice.

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I so know this feeling.... I live it every day!!!!!

Abbie

I know you do dear friend...hang tough, you are loved.

I have been a virtual recluse in my house from pain and DIScomfort from a tbi, alone and sick and terrified. the internet is my only companion, but I tell myself that I have to love so the others in my family won't suffer. I am 45, not married, no kids, lost a great job, and head injury was caused by a horrifying combnation of drugs that a doctor gave me. I know I have to keep going but I don't really want to. oh well.

thank you Markneill! As a survivor of my only sons' suicide I can tell you that it forever changed our family. I am so sorry for your life changing injury and for our Abbies as well. You both are in my prayers.

Thank you for your post. it made me realized that I have to keep going for the others in my family. I am sorry you have had to suffer through your only son's suicide. I wish only the best for you.

I have been bed bound almost 3 years with a crippling disease ,you are not alone..

I am sorry! I didn't know such suffering existed and I wish I had appreciated my health when I had it! feel like I am trapped in a box and it's getting smaller. thought I was a tough guy before this but now I realize I am not that tough and am terrified. I wish I wasn't so afraid. how do you get through. you must be strong mentally.

I agree. I have spent my life with low grade depression and never seriously considered suicide until I got this ugly disease.

I had a dog some years back that I loved more than any person I've ever known. He finally after 11 years got bone cancer. I treated him myself with Pot brownies for the pain and that worked very well for some time. But eventually I could see that he wasn't happy with his condition. He was still not in a lot of pain but his life was now just laying around doing nothing and he wasn't happy about it. So even though most would not I put him down that early I did it. It was an act of love and mercy and the hardest thing for me to do. Now if I would do that for him out of love and mercy then why would I not do that for myself for the same reasons when my quality of life was poor with little prospect for improvement?

Most people are terrified of even the word suicide. No matter how painful their existence their fear of the unknown wins out every time. That or religious belief or pressure from family and friends. (btw there is nothing in the Bible against suicide from my explorations)
Otherwise we could all just discuss this in a relaxed and open fashion like any other subject. But we all die anyway. I'd rather die when my quality of life makes living an nasty chore. IMO suicide is a rare gift of nature to mankind. And instead of embracing it as a gift most consider it a horror. Not I.

I do not fear the word or the deed nearly as much as a lifetime of unremitting pain and emotional suffering. I had a pretty decent, exciting life before this disease even with low grade depression and I don't want to lose that feeling to years of unremitting suffering. Because in that amount of suffering, suffering becomes the whole of or the majority of the life experience. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

So I guess you could say I'm in favor of it for anyone who freely chooses it and I respect them for that choice.

You're not alone.