Hello,

I have no outstanding illnesses or disabilities aside from my almost constant depression and suicidal thoughts. While I don't always want to die outright, I see little hope or reason to continue living. I'm not sure, really, where to turn next. I've joined this forum to try and share my story unashamedly and receive help and advice from true survivors.

Bono malum superate = overcome evil with good. A very nice choice of handle Superate! I just did't want to refer to you as malum.....

You make a great stride in a healthful direction, seeking to involve others in your plight. Such reaching out demonstrates willingness NOT to be separated from the very people who may help you through the time of ideation....

I fell into the cycle of horror pulling back oh so completely such that I was not even posting on here..... did not want to.... just so I could do my final thing. THAT is a horrifying place to be now viewed in retrospect.

You just keep on keeping on. Then hopefully open up to significant family folk or very close friend(s) who can help you find professional help so as to make you accountable for taking tiny steps toward preservation of self.

You can do this.
I know you can.
From one who has been there....

I am dealing with exceptionally horrific and long lasting effects of a brain injury. I used to be very depressed before this when I had a great job and my health. WHAT was I thinking. I know depression is a genetic thing, so it is not as easy as 123 to get rid of it but TRY to be thankful that you are not sick, as I couldn't have imagined how much worse it could get. See a good psychiatrist and take medications as prescribed. And keep busy!!

Thank you for replying, Marks. I'm glad you appreciate the reference. I believe things could be worse and I'm grateful, subsequently, in moments of clarity. As I said, I have no serious illnesses or injuries and I understand others suffer worse fates than mine. Would that I could deny the severity of my pain, however. I don't fully understand it myself.

Mallum
You are a true suvivor.............because your seeking advice and support to stay alive............

Mark is right you just keep on keeping on..........

My only advice is seek medical help with your thoughts of suicide............it took me nearly twenty years before i was diagnosed bi-polar.......which in itself was some relief because it identified why i was constantly depressed, and experiencing suicidal thoughts..............

It hasn't removed what i feel but it has given me the wisdom to seek help ASAP when required........i leave nothing to chance.

keep talking ...believe me it helps

David