NeuroTalk Support Groups - Can some of you help me understand the anger?

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- - Can some of you help me understand the anger? (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/192013-help-understand-anger.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chemar (Post 1003352)

Welcome to our forums ecotime47

I just felt a need for a personal comment on the bit I quoted from your post.

In this community, and our other one, PsychCentral, we have the majority of members or their loved ones who are not "healthy" in some form or another....but yet have family and friends who care and have close relationships with them. I don't think being "healthy" is a necessary prerequisite for a relationship with family or friends...rather that there is understanding and care that overrides the health issues....and indeed is often instrumental in aiding the healing process!

Obviously the desire is to be healthy....but how sad it would be if we broke off relationships with our family and friends who are not. Come to think of it, most people are unhealthy to a greater or lesser degree...but thankfully relationships are still strong for many.

You are absolutely right. Poor choice of wording on my part. I hope and pray the bond of family is stronger than the circumstances that penetrate our lives.

Hi Sofia,

I think there is always hope for reconciliation. You need to focus your energies on yourself and loving you rather than worrying about others and the pain in the past. It will be hard to move forward if you keep looking back.

I have recently reconciled with my own father after decades of pain and disconnect. He was in an abusive relationship and banned from communication with me, which caused me so much hurt and ambiguity. I never understood why he would choose her over his daughter, but anyways... there are always 2 sides to every coin or story. You can't figure out why others do things, you will never know and just wrack your brain trying to figure it out endlessly with no answers. Sometimes we have to accept that some things are best left unknown. Instead, focus on you as others here have suggested great coping skills and methods to do so. Eventually, when the time is right, hopefully things with your family will get better.

I try not to worry about the people that are not in my life (easier said than done, and I have plenty of bad days) but instead focus on adding great, positive people into my life and building myself towards a better place. I hope this helps and that you find comfort in others here that care too.