Bump for our new member....opinion. And welcome to NeuroTalk.

Bump for Nikki...

WOW! Doody, I am glad you didn't edit your post. I am sorry to hear
of your pain , your sisters pain... Alffe's and curious' and all of you
who have lost a loved one. But, the stories need to be told. I sit
here shaking my head, wondering WHY as a society we are still kinder
to our animals than we are to each other.

I know that some doctors will give extra morphine, but they all don’t. And
When they do, is this not assisted suicide? My Grams was dying, and she was
suffering! The doctor said they had given her the maximum dose of morphine.
We had a friend who is a nurse in the hospital who stopped in to see us. Only
due to her influence was my Grams given more meds. The doctor said " you are
aware this will make her die faster" My reply.... yes! Do you have anything that
could make her die now? WHY would I want her pain continued?

Her 91 year old brother was dying... they stopped all food and liquid. Is this not
assisted suicide? It took him days and days to die! I remember listening to his
death rattle and just praying to God to take him. All the time wondering where
is the compassion? Why does he have to suffer so??!! 91 years on this Earth,
and THIS is how he has to leave?

Alffe, your comment about wanting to put a pillow over your brothers face
to quiet his screams I felt that exact same way with my uncle Stevie.
I know my Dad did as well. For 3 years he suffered ungodly pain. My father
suffered ungodly emotional pain watching him. I know with all that I am, this
is why my Dad took his life. If there had been a legal - merciful way to end
my uncles life, perhaps my Dad would still be here.

As you all know, Lynn has Alzheimer's ... I belong to a forum. Their stories
their personal hell is one I do not wish for Lynn. One lady, her husband was
in the fetal position for 3 years. A total vegetable just waiting for the time
when Alzheimer's would eventually claim him. 3 YEARS!

Another man, his wife has been able to say one word for over a year now.
One word, and she screams it over and over. HELP!!! Oh hell no!!
I don't want that for the man I love!

I keep thinking about my Dad. I remember sharing this story with you before..
He told me after his last battle with cancer, he talked to me, sharing a
story about how one night, years before, when his dog was dying, and in
such great pain, that they wouldn't make it to the vet, he recalled how he
had to shoot his beloved pet, to stop his suffering.
He then said to me.......................................
I wish someone loved me enough to do that.

I think on that now.. and the pain is so great, unbearable. If I had known that
one day I would see my brother drive in my yard... that I would rush to the door
with a smile on my face and joy in my heart....... Only to open that door and see
unmasked, raw grief on his face... followed by the words….
"Nik... Nik... Oh God Nikki!! Dad..... killed himself............

If I had but known the cancer was back.... If I had but known how great
his suffering was..... had he told me his plans... had he asked me then to
help him......I know now I would have helped my Dad take his life. ...
It would have been unbelievably hard..... but by no means, as hard as this!!!
I wish to God there was a way I could have helped him. I wish there was a
way we could treat our loved ones with the same compassion we show our
pets. I could have held my Dad.... I could have whispered I love yous as he
left this world. But no.... no, now I am faced living in this hell...

I have been trying all day to make the words come to find the right words to say what i need to but I am just to mixed up and confused. It seems like it is all how each person see it at any given time. One could say they helped end anothers suffering and anguish yet not really if even more suffered and are still sufering years and years later in their absence including the one who helped. I know that might not make any sense to anyone but me and that my words are all wrong and I probly shouldnt even be posting . but i think it is one of those things that it is how a person looks at it on any given day and that it can change each time they look at the topic .

(((BMW))) You aren't the only one dear lady. I was real comfortable with my "way of thinking" but ever since I listened to that NPR radio show last week by the author Lukas....I have been rethinking it. Did you get a chance to listen to it? He doesn't forgive his brother for killing himself...and says assisted suicide is no different for those left behind than an unexpected suicide. The guilt, the grief...it's all still there.

But who knows how we might feel if it's us....hurting, hopeless or someone we love and care for. Compassion...mercy...~sigh

I know how it feels if it is someone we care about and I can say ...but I cant find the words to say not today

I guess my thinking is IF assisted "suicide" was accepted into our
society, it wouldn't have to be hidden in the dark, taboo. One
could make their intentions known to those who love them. Then
the family could have some closure. You just can't have that when
suicide blindsides you So for me, I think it is very different.

Yes, very sticky issue. But, again, I believe that there are solutions. People have to be able to communicate their feelings. And some people find that to be very hard. Things do get complicated. When someone makes a decision to end their life they may not communicate it simply because they do not want to be talked out of it. And they know that is what people who love them will do. It is very difficult to tell a loved one that you have made a decision like that. It is taboo, and it is illegal. I don't like the idea of suicide, not even physician assisted suicide. I like the idea of the 'caring angle.' I have seen this done with people dying of cancer in the hospital. But, as David pointed out, there will always be those who will take advantage of it. There will never be any perfect solution. There are so many different opinions about the meaning of life and death. Compassion and empathy are essential to finding solutions. I also like the idea of unfeinged love, very hard to come by. As humans, we tend to be very self-focused on our own feelings, our own pains, and our own hurts. Being able to think 'outside' of that, well, it takes a lot of work on ourselves and the ingredients listed above. And a lot of life experience....

Lara shared this with me a couple of weeks ago and I thought it important. There are two parts...

http://www.abc.net.au/austory/specia...nd/default.htm

Hugs for the room.

bump.......