I am sorry july 63.
When someone is bent on killing themselves sometimes there really isn't a way to stop them.
Please don't take this personally, nor be too hard on yourself.
bizi

Oh July
 

You do help others. You reach out. You give. You care.

Each has their own destiny to chart within the range of all possibilities and the suicide is fully responsible for their own actions. I learned this well for myself in counseling, and tried to pass it on to my mother.....a woman who uses the threat, tacit so far as I know, in an effort to wrench control of lives in her direction....pity and the like from her targets. Finally, I let her know she is responsible. She is in control of her life. Her efforts to wield control over others through her machinations is wrong, most especially when she would engage in her bad conduct with our own children/her grandchildren. She did not like hearing this from me.....and disowned me. So, she has no further control here. Finito. Das Ende. Finis.

Those who are caught up enough in their own stuff not to be able to control the impulse may succeed in the final exit. It is their act. Not yours. Not, definitely not something for which you are responsible.

Please try to take solace in having made the effort to help. You are a gem of a caring person. :hug:z

Juy 63
 

You are not in any way responsible for Joseph's death. He had reached the point where he could no longer bear the problems that he had accumulated on this earth. Who are we to judge what is in someone's heart at any given time? You were a friend and sometimes that is the best we can do. Please don't be hard on yourself. Life goes on.

Hello July
 

I wish I could hug you. I think all of us who experience pain and medical conditions could use a lot more hugs. My best friend of 14 years decided she didn't want to be friends either. Didn't want someone disabled. It hurts.

There are people here that will care. I am here to listen too. ginnie:grouphug:

so very important
in everything that is said
only one moment at a time
and know we are all understanding
being able to relate
i is in my immediate family
my father
i take all cries to heart
don't take their word for it

someone who cares

Mark,
 

I may have missed a few posts since I have been off and on NT lately. I remember your father had/has alzeheimers, then not too long ago was diagnosed with cancer. Any info would be appreciated. I know that has been very difficult on all of you. Not sure if any of this is reflected in your mother's behavior.


Gerry

Hi July,

Please please please keep trying to find help for yourself, don't give up. Good psychologists exist, they are just hard to find and few & far between. Here is a list that may be helpful, pick one that you like:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.co...te=NY&spec=206
or you can look here based on your zip code
http://locator.apa.org/
These will be licensed and you can select by specialization.

Same goes for people --- I cant tell you how much I relate to your post about your friend saying you are toxic. I lost a lot of friends last year during my depressive episode. They just up and ditched me, no reason at all. Atleast you got clarification, I suppose. Friends don't ditch you when you need them. That's what I've learned and hopefully you can use that too. There's a lot of users out there and people who aren't nice. And people who kill themselves cant handle it anymore. There are always more ways to keep trying and not give up, but it isn't your job to help everyone or anyone but yourself. :hug::grouphug: