http://www.southbendtribune.com/apps...73281744386912

I just don't know why.

I do know IT has been around a long time. Kids were attempting IT and often succeeding even when I was in high school oh so many years ago.

WARNING:

This is pretty disturbing, so please do not read this if you're feeling fragile ...

Seriously.



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There was a really tragic event here in one of the states further south of me where two teenage girls killed themselves in a pact. I don't wish to go into details here.

Last Sunday night there was a segment on the Australian 60 minutes story where they were talking with the parents of one of the girls and some of the friends in the group that the girls were in at school. The kids at school had figured something was up a long time before the tragedy occurred but they felt they could sort it out and talk about it amongst themselves without telling a counsellor at school or a teacher or a parent. In hindsight of course, the two friends from school that were interviewed said they should have told an adult.

Now I was talking to my daughter about this. She'd already talked to me a bit about what happened with the girls and told me she wanted to see the advertised 60 mins. show to try to understand what had gone on. Well, I forget what happened but she wasn't home so didn't see it. She asked me about it later for more details and I told her what the girls' friends had said and she just looked at me and said "Yeah, right!"... as if to say... no they wouldn't have told anyone. That's what happens. If someone is hurting themselves by cutting or is talking about how bad their life is, they try to work it out amongst themselves and not get anyone else involved, like counsellors or parents etc.. ugh

The girls appeared happy. They both had plans for the future. Everything "appeared" fine... however, when the father went looking online to see where his daughter had been visiting he found some very disturbing things. It was as if his daughter had two lives. The one that she showed to her family and friends and this other one where she sought out information about killing herself online (with her friend obviously) and in her my space diary there was information that showed they'd been openly talking for months about what was going to happen in the end. Lots of goodbyes and sad and dark thoughts. It was all very dark indeed.

So here we had two teenage girls who 'appeared' to be on track and have plans and were busy happy teens doing sport and other activities and involved with family life and had lots of friends and yet in their secret and private thoughts there was something quite different.

i'm going to rescue ole thread killer lara..

i have a very open relationship with lil'monkey and her friends. maybe i'm one of the cool moms. they tend to really talk to me.

i couldn't say if they would open up about something like this. but no way was i gonna sit back and wonder.

soooo...yappy me...brought it up to them. they all know i am the one who has lil'monkeys password to her myspace and her email. she doesn't even have it. so me knowing what is going on is a given. it should be to ALL parents.

we talked a lot about how suicide is NOT glamorous. these girls will not be looked at in the future as any type of teen heros. what they did was stupid and final. ( this was the outcome of these girls words..not mine)

they made the pact that no matter what, if they are ever hurting inside so bad they have these thoughts...they are going to tell somebody. if anyone ever comes to them and tells them something like this...no matter what they promise that person...they will tell an adult.

one of the girls has a very bad home home life. her mom is a drunk. she makes a fool of herself at school finctions but nobody steps in. well..i do..i refuse to let her daughter in the car with her and always drive her home. the mom..sorry..but she can be a real vocal witch..and i have yet to get her to walk home or take a ride.

this girl is one of the main reasons why i wanted this brought up. so lara..this article has done good. i refuse to give up opn the teens. i know it has happened for years and years. but 1 life saved is worth it to me. i think keeping an eye out for any kids that tend to disassoiciate with others is a real good idea too.

It was some of the concerns raised in the article that alffe posted that got me thinking about how big the problem is for our young people and it made me think about these girls and what had happened with them and that's just a few weeks ago.
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Good for you, curious.

When my daughter was still in school she had a good group of friends and they seemed to be able come to me to tell me things they didn't feel they could discuss with their own parents. On one occassion it was a very huge responsibility but it worked out very well in the long run.

From time to time when my daughter gets really down I try to steer her off in a helpful direction and it always works, but it really surprised me when she said that the other children at school wouldn't even go to a counsellor even if they thought there was something seriously wrong with one of their classmates.

I tend to walk on egg shells here with my son though. He's on autism spectrum but is very high "functioning" so-to-speak. He's a pretty solitary person a bit like me, but as he's grown out of teenagedom into adulthood he's become more able to converse with others and has made some friends along the way. However... he's very closed in, very uncommunicative like other kids. He's my worry. Even when everything is running smoothly and he's happy and busy. I'm probably projecting my worries and he's really doing fine, but sometimes it's just hard to know.

thanks so much for your response. It's wonderful.

Oprah had an interesting show today about Depression. One man had lost his wife to suicide, another man suffered from depression and finally attempted to kill himself. He was hospitalized for weeks and when drugs proved unsuccessful they did ETC (shock treatment) and he's fine...talked about how it isn't the nightmare we all think it is.

http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml

hey! HUSH! it's on right now.

hehehe..not like giving away a realilty show final huh?

lara...hopefully he will find his safe place to land. all it takes is that clicking with somebody.

I am always very grateful when I see shows like what Oprah did today.
It helps educate so many and helps, hopefully, rid the stigma that is attached to mental illness.

Instead of watching the show... I went for a long walk - and for that, I am also grateful.

The show will be on again tomorrow at nooon. I will watch it then.

There is a woman in my chorus who has baffled her doctors - her depression is so severe that she has shock treatments. I am the only one who has been privy to this information amongst our chorus members. Others might gasp in disbelief... some might wish they could understand... and many just don't get it... that is why we stay so silent. We are afraid of being judged.

I praise anyone who has the courage to tell their story.
The more we share, the more we know we are not alone.

numbers = strength

Lara - I think the problem with young people is huge. Sadly, they dont all have parents like you and Curious.