Originally Posted by icelander

I've been down that road and turned back temporarily. I have no issue with what anyone does with their own life. It's not mine and I have no idea what it's like for them and I can think of no better time for them to be selfish.

I have seen it from the other side with family and friends telling someone in deep deep distress that they are being crummy for being so selfish never realizing the amazing amount of selfishness it takes to demand that someone suffer greatly so you don't have to suffer a little.


A gun is such a messy way to effect relief as there are very gentle ways to accomplish things and it does leave things in better shape for family and friends.

You know suicides for the most part are not trying to hurt anyone they are trying to save their own sanity. They are in such physical and emotional pain that they can't stand being alive. What a horrible position to be in.

And I also don't agree with those that say it's the coward's way out. The night I sat down to do it was the most frightening night of my life. Something stopped me that night that was life changing for me but had that not happened I wonder if I would have had the courage. People not in pain may never be able to relate to those who have it. Due to that I usually disregard their opinions in favor of my own. I'm devastated that people get into so much pain that their only option is to end the suffering. I'm grateful, so very grateful we have such an option.

Having said that it's permanent so you better think hard and long.

Originally Posted by Alffe

Hi Icelander and welcome to the forum.

You sound like a very compassionate, intelligent and forgiving person.
Like Eva, I lost an only son to suicide, gun in mouth many years ago.

I believe we suffer differently depending on whether you are a child who has lost a parent to suicide or are a parent who loses a child that way.

I understand the difference and am watching and listening carefully to this surviving now man who believes that his father, my wonderful son, was a selfish coward.

Hugs for the room.

Originally Posted by Alffe

Hi Icelander and welcome to the forum.

You sound like a very compassionate, intelligent and forgiving person.
Like Eva, I lost an only son to suicide, gun in mouth many years ago.

I believe we suffer differently depending on whether you are a child who has lost a parent to suicide or are a parent who loses a child that way.

I understand the difference and am watching and listening carefully to this surviving now man who believes that his father, my wonderful son, was a selfish coward.

Hugs for the room.

Originally Posted by mistiis

I'm putting this out there for advice and helpful thoughts. I have a very good friend with a painful chronic illness who has been through losing family, business, and friends. Many times this friend cannot find a reason to live or to go on. This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker. Lately my friend has been wanting to own a gun simply because this friend thinks it will give him/her an option when him/her feels like there are no others. I understand these feelings on an emotional level. Any thoughts or helpful hints on how to deal with this would be appreciated. And, yes, I have refused to own a gun because I fully understand the implications having held one more than once myself. BTW when this friend thinks about suicide it is in a totally rational and logical way. And, yes, I have pointed out what it would do this friend's family. Thanks my good and dear friends. Please feel free to send me pm's if you feel better communicating on that level. If you feel you have no answers that's ok as well. I realize how difficult a subject this is.

Originally Posted by Andy_Pablo

I would not dare attempt to speak for anyone else, as this is purely a personal thing, but Im afraid that if your friend is in such pain that they are hell bent on ending their life then sadly there is very little you can do other than be there as a shoulder to lean on & hope that is enough from day to day. I am in your friends situation where a cycling related injury has taken me from a very fit active man into an empty vessel who thinks about suicide on a daily basis. I care about what it would do to my close family & friends, & that has stopped an attempt on more than one occasion, but ultimately, suicide for me would bring the relief that I have not felt for a few years. Fear along with a failed attempt has kept me in the position of waiting to find out if surgery will help my position, but I know for certain, that personally, I can not live the rest of my life like 'this'. In this situation, there are many friends & family members who help me, sometimes simply by talking to me via phone message. There are a couple who come to me for advice & I like that. Being a shoulder to lean on myself, helps keep us both upright... Apologies, that was the long way of saying that all you can do is listen, communicate & simply be there for them & hope that is enough... I wish you & your friend the very best...

Originally Posted by mistiis

I'm putting this out there for advice and helpful thoughts. I have a very good friend with a painful chronic illness who has been through losing family, business, and friends. Many times this friend cannot find a reason to live or to go on. This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker. Lately my friend has been wanting to own a gun simply because this friend thinks it will give him/her an option when him/her feels like there are no others. I understand these feelings on an emotional level. Any thoughts or helpful hints on how to deal with this would be appreciated. And, yes, I have refused to own a gun because I fully understand the implications having held one more than once myself. BTW when this friend thinks about suicide it is in a totally rational and logical way. And, yes, I have pointed out what it would do this friend's family. Thanks my good and dear friends. Please feel free to send me pm's if you feel better communicating on that level. If you feel you have no answers that's ok as well. I realize how difficult a subject this is.