I would not dare attempt to speak for anyone else, as this is purely a personal thing, but Im afraid that if your friend is in such pain that they are hell bent on ending their life then sadly there is very little you can do other than be there as a shoulder to lean on & hope that is enough from day to day. I am in your friends situation where a cycling related injury has taken me from a very fit active man into an empty vessel who thinks about suicide on a daily basis. I care about what it would do to my close family & friends, & that has stopped an attempt on more than one occasion, but ultimately, suicide for me would bring the relief that I have not felt for a few years. Fear along with a failed attempt has kept me in the position of waiting to find out if surgery will help my position, but I know for certain, that personally, I can not live the rest of my life like 'this'. In this situation, there are many friends & family members who help me, sometimes simply by talking to me via phone message. There are a couple who come to me for advice & I like that. Being a shoulder to lean on myself, helps keep us both upright... Apologies, that was the long way of saying that all you can do is listen, communicate & simply be there for them & hope that is enough... I wish you & your friend the very best...

Andy I do understand where you are coming from and bumped of the other thread because it is about choices. Our son Michael was 31 years old and healthy when he impulsively put that gun in his mouth. Healthy physically but obviously depressed.

I'm glad you are here talking....we are listening. Hugs for the room.

Thank you. I am truly sorry for your loss. Its a blessing & a curse that we can not aquire firearms in England...

I can totally relate to the thinking suicide in "rational and logic way". The pain just doesn't stop... ever. Gimme a break my goodness.

I guess that I never expected to be here again but I'm back for now....I've been ill for a long, long time, for those of you who don't know me. For those of you who do know me, I'm sorry that I'm back....Along with facing my Maker every day, today I learned that my adoptive mom was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I lost my birth mom years ago...when I was a teen and, eventually, my adoptive parents found me. They taught me everything in the world that I know about love and loving and being good. I still cry for my birth mom everyday; today, when I was talking to my adoptive mom, all I could do was cry. She, on the other hand, is all upbeat and okay with it. She has complete faith that she'll be okay, one way or the other. In my head, I guess I know that....I just wish that I could convince my heart. I lost my mom, my mother-in-law and now my adoptive mom who loves me as if I were truly her own. I just can't shake this....I know that I have to be okay with it, too, but I just can't be today. She hasn't told their "real kids"....my youngest brother is getting married in a few weeks and she doesn't want this over the wedding. I think I was safe to tell because I live in the Midwest and they all live on the East Coast. I just feel very alone and lost right now.

dear blessed soul

i cannot take away your fear
of loosing someone that has
loves taught you love and continues to love
YOU and your brother
blessed are you to know love
not only form your birth mother
but also of this beautiful person you speak of
i am in awe of her upbeat mode
i a breast cancer survivor 4 more years of
Tamoxifen
what i want you to know
i had two birth parents
my father committed suicide
i was nineteen
my birth mother
would look the other way
whenever terrible things went on
mainly i took the brunt of it all
i am the oldest of three
and i come to learn in my
adult years
the same happened to my sister

the precious time spent with your loved ones
let that run through your veins
i do not mean your feeling of
the possible loss will not hurt
the end on this earth inevitably
comes to an end one day
only to truly be home
i want you to continue to feel the
Love from your beautiful mother in your life
now

i have four children
a grand child
a dog
i love soooooooooooo much
i have to be very careful what i wish for
as i want to be home
it will all be in Gods time to be brought home
not mine
i promised my children
love her
remember her smell
hold her hand when you tell her you love her
she will be taken care of
and will fight and do everything to live
she is alive
now
and so are you
you your soul blessed
twice
love
me

Hugs to you dear girl,
You have alot of friends here who love you
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

bizi is right hippie chick. You are not alone and your dear mother is the true definition of what a mother feels for her children. I love and admire this woman and you, her wonderful daughter. :hug:

Thank you. I try for compassion and empathy at every turn. There is not enough of that in our world. I have great compassion and now empathy for those who feel that suicide is their best or only option. IMO it's rarely a cowardly act but certainly can be. But I'll never try to second guess what another is feeling and I believe it's only logical that each person should be in charge of their own life and make their own decisions. For the person in unrelenting pain it can be a blessing in the extreme.

And here's something to consider. A child living with a parent who is depressed and in extreme pain and has almost no energy to give might be affected negatively by that. Just as much as losing that parent. Children need a lot of nurturing.

If a person is rational and logical then they are in the right position to evaluate their situation and chart the best course for themselves. Guns or hanging are used in most successful suicide attempts and although it seems harsh it's a logical choice for someone who is serious and does not want to risk more unreliable choices that could leave one in worse shape than before the attempt.

It's dangerous to attempt suicide when you are unsure of your methods. And while I never advise anyone on this choice I do honor their right to choose and hold no ill feelings about it. They are logically in a better position to evaluate their situation then I could ever be.