I'm putting this out there for advice and helpful thoughts. I have a very good friend with a painful chronic illness who has been through losing family, business, and friends. Many times this friend cannot find a reason to live or to go on. This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker. Lately my friend has been wanting to own a gun simply because this friend thinks it will give him/her an option when him/her feels like there are no others. I understand these feelings on an emotional level. Any thoughts or helpful hints on how to deal with this would be appreciated. And, yes, I have refused to own a gun because I fully understand the implications having held one more than once myself. BTW when this friend thinks about suicide it is in a totally rational and logical way. And, yes, I have pointed out what it would do this friend's family. Thanks my good and dear friends. Please feel free to send me pm's if you feel better communicating on that level. If you feel you have no answers that's ok as well. I realize how difficult a subject this is.

Here you are again dear lady...also caring about others while struggling with the beast yourself.

I am always repeating myself here....you have heard it all before. If someone is hell bent on ending their lives there isn't a thing you can do about it other than what you have already done. Tell them how much you care and how much their actions will change their loved ones forever. Give them the book Suicide, The Forever Decision, add them to your prayer list and give them a hug.

That's really all you can do...I understand about chronic pain and choices.
And I love you for caring so much.

SO nice to see you !

When I read your post I thought right away exactly what Alffe said!!

I so wish there was more we could do for all that suffer in ANY way.......

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3125689/

I do understand dear friend.

Thank you dear Alffe....and, yes, you are right. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. Just keep loving. It is their choice.
And thank you Jaded! It's funny that this friend is always using the same quote you have, and claims it is their favorite one. Guess I need to remind them.
I try to say that there is always something to be unhappy about if that's what you want to be. I agree that some seem to have more reasons than others. ~sigh
Love and miss all my friends here and am so very grateful that I can come here myself. I love and appreciate you so much even though I don't come around a lot. My friends here are never far from my thoughts or my heart.

Dear Alffe,
I just read that article and it is excellent and something my friend can read as well. This friend is always doing research and can easily relate to and understand this. Sometimes they need to hear it from another source, especially a professional and scientific one
Now if I can just keep this friend away from the gun aisle in Wal-Mart

Heavy sigh.... You have to be 21 to buy a handgun.

My dear friend Mistiis..........just like to echo what Alffe said........you strugle daily with your own emotions yet selflessly reach out to help others.....i applaud you for that empathic quality that very few souls have.

Once again Alffe is correct you cannot prevent a person killing themself if that is what they want to do.

But i throw out this to think about,

'This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker'

Suicidal thoughts are not rational...they are a minds destorition of the reality that we live.

We get fed up often............we dont always feel like ending life...........

when ending life is a constant thought that is illness not rationality.....

irantional thinking does not dechipher if it attacks the minds of educated or uneducated people...it attacks both [many educated people end their own life irrationally, as do many uneducated people]


rationalising the demise of yourself, by your own doing is by defintion irational.................

mental illness convinces us that the world does not need us to play any further part............logic only occurs when WE ARE WELL


I recall my major Atempt.........spontaneous....determined.......ang ry.........

Deffinately no rational.......and i think i'm intelligent and often rational and logical..........


my point is dont be fooled by those who say their suicide is planned and carried out rationaly through thought education and logic .........because its not............

mental illness affects educated people.......they may sound rational and logical/////but they are still mentaly unwell

David

I've been down that road and turned back temporarily. I have no issue with what anyone does with their own life. It's not mine and I have no idea what it's like for them and I can think of no better time for them to be selfish.

I have seen it from the other side with family and friends telling someone in deep deep distress that they are being crummy for being so selfish never realizing the amazing amount of selfishness it takes to demand that someone suffer greatly so you don't have to suffer a little.


A gun is such a messy way to effect relief as there are very gentle ways to accomplish things and it does leave things in better shape for family and friends.

You know suicides for the most part are not trying to hurt anyone they are trying to save their own sanity. They are in such physical and emotional pain that they can't stand being alive. What a horrible position to be in.

And I also don't agree with those that say it's the coward's way out. The night I sat down to do it was the most frightening night of my life. Something stopped me that night that was life changing for me but had that not happened I wonder if I would have had the courage. People not in pain may never be able to relate to those who have it. Due to that I usually disregard their opinions in favor of my own. I'm devastated that people get into so much pain that their only option is to end the suffering. I'm grateful, so very grateful we have such an option.

Having said that it's permanent so you better think hard and long.

Thank you for Sharing
Not only did my father use a gun
and was successful he left a note
He was a coward
How I want to be home when I feel I can't go
on anymore
I have NO OPTION
I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN
HOW SELFISH OF HIM
A coward indeed
I managed to forgive him
In Jesus I trust