I'm putting this out there for advice and helpful thoughts. I have a very good friend with a painful chronic illness who has been through losing family, business, and friends. Many times this friend cannot find a reason to live or to go on. This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker. Lately my friend has been wanting to own a gun simply because this friend thinks it will give him/her an option when him/her feels like there are no others. I understand these feelings on an emotional level. Any thoughts or helpful hints on how to deal with this would be appreciated. And, yes, I have refused to own a gun because I fully understand the implications having held one more than once myself. BTW when this friend thinks about suicide it is in a totally rational and logical way. And, yes, I have pointed out what it would do this friend's family. Thanks my good and dear friends. Please feel free to send me pm's if you feel better communicating on that level. If you feel you have no answers that's ok as well. I realize how difficult a subject this is.

Here you are again dear lady...also caring about others while struggling with the beast yourself.

I am always repeating myself here....you have heard it all before. If someone is hell bent on ending their lives there isn't a thing you can do about it other than what you have already done. Tell them how much you care and how much their actions will change their loved ones forever. Give them the book Suicide, The Forever Decision, add them to your prayer list and give them a hug.

That's really all you can do...I understand about chronic pain and choices.
And I love you for caring so much.

SO nice to see you !

When I read your post I thought right away exactly what Alffe said!!

I so wish there was more we could do for all that suffer in ANY way.......

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3125689/

I do understand dear friend.

Thank you dear Alffe....and, yes, you are right. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. Just keep loving. It is their choice.
And thank you Jaded! It's funny that this friend is always using the same quote you have, and claims it is their favorite one. Guess I need to remind them.
I try to say that there is always something to be unhappy about if that's what you want to be. I agree that some seem to have more reasons than others. ~sigh
Love and miss all my friends here and am so very grateful that I can come here myself. I love and appreciate you so much even though I don't come around a lot. My friends here are never far from my thoughts or my heart.

Dear Alffe,
I just read that article and it is excellent and something my friend can read as well. This friend is always doing research and can easily relate to and understand this. Sometimes they need to hear it from another source, especially a professional and scientific one
Now if I can just keep this friend away from the gun aisle in Wal-Mart

Heavy sigh.... You have to be 21 to buy a handgun.

My dear friend Mistiis..........just like to echo what Alffe said........you strugle daily with your own emotions yet selflessly reach out to help others.....i applaud you for that empathic quality that very few souls have.

Once again Alffe is correct you cannot prevent a person killing themself if that is what they want to do.

But i throw out this to think about,

'This friend is very intelligent and a very rational and logical thinker'

Suicidal thoughts are not rational...they are a minds destorition of the reality that we live.

We get fed up often............we dont always feel like ending life...........

when ending life is a constant thought that is illness not rationality.....

irantional thinking does not dechipher if it attacks the minds of educated or uneducated people...it attacks both [many educated people end their own life irrationally, as do many uneducated people]


rationalising the demise of yourself, by your own doing is by defintion irational.................

mental illness convinces us that the world does not need us to play any further part............logic only occurs when WE ARE WELL


I recall my major Atempt.........spontaneous....determined.......ang ry.........

Deffinately no rational.......and i think i'm intelligent and often rational and logical..........


my point is dont be fooled by those who say their suicide is planned and carried out rationaly through thought education and logic .........because its not............

mental illness affects educated people.......they may sound rational and logical/////but they are still mentaly unwell

David

I think that by showing your love you are probably already using the most powerful tool that you have. I do think it's important to remember to show this love in a persistent way. After all, the despair is probably persistent itself.

I'm not saying this just to disagree, DMACK, but I do think that it's possible to approach suicide in a rational way, even though I agree that this is not usually the case. Some people are simply too rational to escape logic and effectively embrace their emotions and desire to live. They reason that if it seems likely the rest of their life will be an unpleasant prelude to what is already an inescapable death then what difference does a few years or decades really make? I'm not defending this approach, but I do understand how it could make purely logical sense.

Lara, unfortunately yes, you can buy these weapons even at a Walmart. They've recently added military-assault-style weapons to the inventory, such as AR-15's and other knock-off brands.

Mistiis, I think your friend is extremely lucky to have you on his/her help and prayer lists, whether they realize it or not. Unfortunately I just found-out a few minutes ago that an old and close friend of mine had shot himself in his own bathroom, and did not survive. He left behind a wife and daughter. What makes this particular suicide so frustrating is that no one seems to have ever suspected that he was considering it. I think the best that anyone can do, if they do have reason to suspect such a thing, is to show their love and to be willing to listen, even if you have to listen to the same thing over and over again. Some people need to verbalize their feelings in order to deal with them, and the deeper the hurt the longer it takes. God bless you for being so caring.

Just found out that my 15yo DGS saved his girlfriend from suicide. She had spoken of it months ago and even set a date: April 22nd. He took her to a movie the night before and afterward asked when he'd see her again. "In Heaven," she responded.

Thank goodness his mother picked up on his devastation and made him talk! She had him call the girl's father. Her parents had been trying to treat her depression with vitamins and hadn't realized the seriousness. They kept her at home the next day and checked on her constantly.

Love is good. Very very good. But this is going to take more.

I have an adult niece and her brother that both suffer from depression. He refuses to take any medications because they are "evil." He is in a dark place mentally, isn't able to hold down a job and depends on 100% financial support from his parents. He is one school quarter away from college graduation, and has been for about 20 years.

She, however, accepts medical help and does her best to help herself by getting out and participating in life. She just remarried, but still has demons that mess with her mind.

You folks in this forum obviously know about this than I do. It just makes me shake my head in confusion. What a mystery our mental health is!

May God bless you all.