Addy requested that I start a thread about mothers so I will try because I need to get this out.

I've seen so many negative posts about mothers since Mother's Day and it makes me so sad, or better yet it's a trigger for me. This is something I found about mothers.


That's what a mother's love is. And my mom had all that and more. But notice, sacrifice and pain.

I've seen posts, not in this forum but others, where a mother is called wicked, evil and all sorts of names. I just don't understand. It just tears me apart to read that. Maybe I'm wrong in my thinking but you only have one mom. And she brought you into this world with love in her heart. Things may not have worked out the way YOU wanted them to but she's still your mom and she tried to give you everything YOU wanted. But she tried and that's all you can ask for. And for those who still have their moms, cherish every moment because she won't be here forever.

You know something my mom always told me? A son is a son until he gets a wife but a daughter is a daughter the rest of your life. Now I'm an only child right? Nope. I've been keeping this in and haven't even told my pdoc until today. My brother committed suicide when he was 14 years old. Hung himself in the bathroom, no note, no reason, just gone. Why? I'll never know. My mom and dad were always there for him and tried to give him everything he wanted.

Maybe there's something in the genetics but I'm not sure. I've tried to commit suicide several times and yes I'm ashamed of it. All it accomplished was sending me off to the hospital and being "labeled". But I'm grieving for my mom. Being a Roman Catholic, I won't get into Heaven though if I do but I have weak moments and sometimes they take hold of me and I can't control them. And being BP, you never know. I think, my mom's there why not join her?

I just needed to get this out so you know how I feel and why I'm grieving for my mom so much and why so many posts have upset me lately. Am I weak? I don't know I just know that I'm utterly exhausted and relieved that I got this out. Maybe now I can get some quality sleep. And my pdoc is quite proud of me.

I'm proud of you too BJ....that you could finally talk about "it". How I feel for your parents to have lost a child like that and for you to lose a brother.

You are so fortunate to have had such a loving mother...not everyone has that in their past. I've told you this before..I think your mother has a wonderful daughter.

I'm sitting here staring at my words and can't believe I even wrote them. I thought about deleting them several times but I have to get this out.

I don't mean any harm to anyone else who doesn't have a good relationship with their parents. I was one of the lucky ones and had 2 of the best. I know that they tried their darnedest to give us everything we wanted. And I was happy. But my brother, I don't know what happened. Life is a mystery and now I'm left to wonder by myself what went wrong.

That's great that you can get that out of your system and the poem is beautiful.

My daughter and I are very close. She says I'm not only a mom she loves but a best friend as well.

My mom and I aren't close. We've had our issues. But for the most part, she and my dad have been there for me when I needed them.

I'm so sorry about your brother. You rest easy and take good care of yourself!!!

for BP

And that was what my mom was to me, she was my friend and I'd do anything to have her back.

dear Girlie,
This is the place to talk about it and I am so sorry that you lost your brother this way...I too lost my brother to suicide.
I also want to wish for you some sleep tonight.
((((HUGS))))
bizi