Addy requested that I start a thread about mothers so I will try because I need to get this out.

I've seen so many negative posts about mothers since Mother's Day and it makes me so sad, or better yet it's a trigger for me. This is something I found about mothers.


That's what a mother's love is. And my mom had all that and more. But notice, sacrifice and pain.

I've seen posts, not in this forum but others, where a mother is called wicked, evil and all sorts of names. I just don't understand. It just tears me apart to read that. Maybe I'm wrong in my thinking but you only have one mom. And she brought you into this world with love in her heart. Things may not have worked out the way YOU wanted them to but she's still your mom and she tried to give you everything YOU wanted. But she tried and that's all you can ask for. And for those who still have their moms, cherish every moment because she won't be here forever.

You know something my mom always told me? A son is a son until he gets a wife but a daughter is a daughter the rest of your life. Now I'm an only child right? Nope. I've been keeping this in and haven't even told my pdoc until today. My brother committed suicide when he was 14 years old. Hung himself in the bathroom, no note, no reason, just gone. Why? I'll never know. My mom and dad were always there for him and tried to give him everything he wanted.

Maybe there's something in the genetics but I'm not sure. I've tried to commit suicide several times and yes I'm ashamed of it. All it accomplished was sending me off to the hospital and being "labeled". But I'm grieving for my mom. Being a Roman Catholic, I won't get into Heaven though if I do but I have weak moments and sometimes they take hold of me and I can't control them. And being BP, you never know. I think, my mom's there why not join her?

I just needed to get this out so you know how I feel and why I'm grieving for my mom so much and why so many posts have upset me lately. Am I weak? I don't know I just know that I'm utterly exhausted and relieved that I got this out. Maybe now I can get some quality sleep. And my pdoc is quite proud of me.