on the 6th of June it was the 70th anniversary of D-Day in which my day served...[a more poigniant day as many will not be there in the next years to come]

on 8th of June it was the one year anniversary of the death of my brother, we lived far apart but i loved him dearly

15th of June my wifes Auntie committed suicide her bed ridden husband my wifes blood uncle was upstairs. when the alarm was raised he was rushed to hospital with phnuemonia...and is currently in an induced coma

21st of June today...........my dad died 18 years ago [seems like yesterday]

And throughout this month i have felt terrible unstable....not out and out manic but submissively depressed like the darkness will never lift.................

God i wish i could shake it off

my GP says i will need extra meds if it does not calm down ...........and through all this turmoil...i feel nothing but sadness............i cant hold a conversation with anyone.............and yet the solitude i seek is what is slowly killing me....the medication i'm on numbs me i feel lost and after three years on it eveyone is so quick to say i'm a different man [so quiet] yet they all hated the impulsive David prior to meds


just venting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB-5XG-DbAA

David