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09-28-2014, 10:15 PM | #18 | ||
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Eva,
I know the feeling of having a doctor mess you up, the pain has been excruciating the past week. The pain makes me feel like I have the flu and I just want to curl up. Some choice. I stay alive and my nephew and niece hate me because I don't show up at parties and they think I don't care or do the unthinkable and they resent me. I'm not suicidal, what's the point. it's not like when I die i'll be able to say wow, I'm dead and not in pain anymore' Eva, in a haunting conversation I had with a friend before I got sick, I said I would never use a cure founded upon use of fetuses. Not for religious reasons. Just didn't feel right. Now, I don't know what I would decide. The good thing is they're so far from curing head injuries and thalamic pain I don't have to worry any time soon. Didn't mean to offend anyone either way. hope I didn't. Never made it to city see DBS surgeon in city. just don't feel well enough to get there. the thing I hate most about what happened with the doctor is he brought fear into my life. I was never really afraid of much. Now I am afraid all the time. There are people on the TBI/PCS website that are suicidal after two months, I'm going on 84 lol. What makes me so much stronger? That's what scares me. That stinks. |
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