NeuroTalk Support Groups - Suicidal thoughts always there in the back of my head

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- - Suicidal thoughts always there in the back of my head (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/225049-suicidal-head.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamG11 (Post 1184280)

Hey DejaVu!

Birthday was OK. Once again, would be wonderful if I was feeling better but other than that it was good.

Now for my school and spare time... I was just going to post a new message about this. I struggle with friends. I have countless friends in school, and everyone seems to love me, but Outside of school I have no one. I always see my "friends" on social media hanging out with each other and I never get asked to come. Every time I ask a couple of these "friends" I feel comfortable with to hangout they never answer or say they can't.

This has been going on since this all started, I don't know why.

It's really depressing, but i just keep thinking as soon as I feel better and my deepersonalizaion is gone everything will get better.

Now 1 more week away. Appointments on Tuesday next week.

Ughh I don't know. Life just keeps moving and I feel like I'm stuck in the mud.

Dear Sam
I a fifty four year young woman
A mother of four grown children
I just introduced a family that did
have troubling times
It affected my son to the core
I was called "big bird"
Because I was one of two girls that were the tallest
of all our classmates
It was so difficult coming into a country
Starting school and not have anybody understand me
or what I was saying
this started in kindergarten
Im so glad I could be in a situation with my kids and help them
to empower themselves
And I am TRUELY so sorry it is happening to you

But I want to ask you a very important question
And I understand your a kid that SHOULD BE HAVING
FUN WITH HIS CLASSMATES

do you really want to hang with that crowed of people who
rather not deal with a young man having some struggles
Stigmas a poopy thing
You find those who have compassion
You find those
who are interested in the real you
And not forget you are still a human being
Who is trying to find his places I this cruel world
of NEGITIVE people
You know how to remove
that kind of stuff in your life
And don't look back

YOU are a polite extremely articulate
thaughtful young man
Who has the world ahead of yourself
once your doctors figure out
What's up

You stay strong
And keep sharing
Love
Me

Hi guys!

Thanks again SO MUCh for being here for me. Cannot stress enough how much it means to me :D!

No results yet , most likely getting them back tomorrow.

Today I took some more lab tests! This time, for my adrenals. Like I mentioned before these symtomps are most likely from something being wrong with my endocrine system. Thyroid labs on there way, and today I took 2 tests.

1, which is an ACTH test.

2, which is a Cortisol test.

Both are for measuring the amount of cortisol and to see whats going on with my adrenals.

And for those who have mentioned, I've been going to a Acu-Pressurist ever since this all started. Basically acupuncture without the needles. It's called the "Brain integration therapy" .

Cannot wait to get all these labs back, have a great feeling that somethings going to show on them!

Hi Sam,

The way you are coming across in your words and phrasing 'sounds' far more positive:) I do hope you get answers from these tests, but just the prospect (combined with the acupressure?) seems to be doing wonders for your mindset. Don't get me wrong, I know the underlying problems are still there and need addressing and resolving, but you seem better able to cope with this level of help.

Well done!

Dave.

I was told that adrenals and thyroid go hand in hand usually. so if your adrenals are depressed then your thyroid will show symptoms as well.
How good is your diet?
are you eating clean?
This is so important in helping adrenal fatigue. There are supplements to take to help rebuild yourself up.
rooting for you.
bizi

Most have been there too.

Chronic pain isn't considered as nearly (or properly treated) as seriously as it should be IMHO.
Most everyone that has suffered severely for a very long period of time has had the same thoughts cross their mind, tried and failed, or felt that moment of truth and stopped.
There have been times when I myself have came down to the wire, the two main reasons that the job wasn't completed may sound silly to some.
I have four grown children and six grandchildren, I Pray that they never have to understand life with CP.
Personally them remembering that I chose to end my life over something that they don't understand would break their heart.
A good friend of mine was hit head on by a drunk driver and left quadriplegic, for thirteen years he slowly deteriorated until he passed.
Things can get very tough at times, yet somewhere out there someone is in far worse condition than I am and most likely you are.
For far too many years I have fought severe pain, I may never actually "win", but I will not surrender either.
Hang in there, when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on tight.
When it seems like the world would be a better place without you..... ask yourself the question, do my family and friends, the people that love me feel the same way ?.
Deep down we all know the answer.
Maybe I am a little different, a smile, hug, or "I love you" makes what life I do have left worth any pain that I could ever suffer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamG11 (Post 1165637)

Hi all,

New here on the "Survivors of suicide forums". Been very active for almost a year on the traumatic brain injury and post concussion syndrome forums.. And I love it there. And will continue to stay active there.

But I'm here for help, advice, and just overall talk to people who are willing to listen. So, here's my story, and why I'm here.

I'm Sam and I'm going to be 15 years old in October. Many tell me I'm extremely mature for my age.

Let's start...

At the beginning of this suffering.

October 17, 2014, I hit my head playing football on my friends lawn. Without knowing, I continued to play and had a concussion. Weeks passed, then months, and I was diagnosed with Post Concussion Sydrome. Been suffering with a nightmare feeling of feeling in a dream like state all the time. Everything feels more unreal than usual.

Been suffering with it for almost a year now. I'm extremely sensitive, and every so often I just break down and cry. I cry so hard it hurts. I hate myself, and I have no friends. I have one friend that's a girl that I talk to, but that's about it. I'm so scared, and loosing hope, and want to just end this because I feel like I will never get better.

My everyday life consists of me either hiding in my room, playing video games all day, and sleeping. My parents and family get extremely angry when they see this, and want me to go outside and hang with my friends. What they don't realize is that I honestly have none. For some reason everyone hates me, and I struggle to find true friends that actually want to hangout with me for me.

Hopefully someone out there cares.
Sam

Quote:

Originally Posted by Living N Pain (Post 1187776)

so beautifully said
thank you

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi (Post 1187767)

Yes! If your adrenals are off, so is your thyroid. If your thyroid is off, so can your adrenals. If anything is not working correctly in the endocrine system, it normally throws something else off.

I have been taking supplements that are suppose to "reboot" your HPA Axis (Hypothalmic pituitary adrenal axis) ! Been taking them for about 4 days now, if I see any results they would be after a few weeks.

http://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1865493

^ A link to what I'm taking :)

And I have also been more positive as others have mentioned, I really feel I'm getting close to finding the answer, just a matter of time. (At least I hope!)

My diet is pretty good, I've cut out fast food and sodas and all that stuff because they make me feel worse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamG11 (Post 1165637)

Sam, who did you hang out with before you suffered your traumatic head injury? Those people are still your friends. Also, Sam, I have a question.
Have you tried prayer? My nephew who was sent to prison when he was only about 19 learned how to pray in prison. There are many kinds of prayer, some are slow, gentle forms of prayer like contemplating your healing process while in the presence of God. Other forms of prayer are reading a little of the Bible and then asking God to open up the verse for you. Of course, you may always pray to ask God to help you get through the day, and heal properly from your injury.

Prayer will help you feel like you have someone to turn to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roberta7659 (Post 1187894)

I hanged out with multiple "clicks"/groups of kids prior to the injury. I always bounced around trying to find true friends.

Now, those kids dont really want to hang with me. They are sorta nice to me in school, but only when I'm the last one to turn to. If they see any one of there other friends, they will immediately turn there backs, ignore me, and start talking to them. So Obviously, there not real friends, and I'm treated like dirt.

When I ask them to hang out they either never respond to there texts or make up some fake excuse.

I've tried everything, and right now, I'm focused on getting healed. I honestly gave up, and if these people dont like me for me I wont even bother with them. And every time I think of it, it only makes me more depressed and angry.

I've been praying to god every once in a while. It helps a little when I'm feeling down

Sam,

Your focus is where it should be right now. Fake friends are mere chaff in the wind, true friendships will appear and develop in time - and you have plenty of that. Maybe when your peers have an outlook as mature as yours?

Certainly never let other's unthinking actions affect your Mood.

Dave.