I'm sorry that you're not seeing any results yet, but things are headed in the right direction

You haven't mentioned your therapist or the lexapro in a while… what's the status there?

As hard as this all is
Please I cannot stress
how important it is that you not isolate
I hope there is that someone who is around you
and maybe there be someone here you would talk to in private
You have choices
Please you bright young man
Stay with us
Love
Me

I'm still on 5g of lexapro to help with anxiety, but my neuro does not want me to change anything with that because if I change it and If my symptoms change we wont know what is causing to symptoms to change, the epilepsy, the lexapro, other problems, etc.


As for my therapist, my final appointment with her was last Friday (for now). My therapist is moving to Ohio so she can no longer see me regularly. However, she believes that my main symptoms are all caused medically and not emotionally.



If nothing changes and I still feel like crap, or if my anxiety and depression gets out of control again, I can return to a therapist.



For now I am taking a break and focusing on the medical side of things.



I just want this all to end and I want to feel better again. I've still been living my life normally as I used to, (Exercise, school, activities, etc) but it's just not the same. I want to feel like myself again..

Sam thank you for sharing
We look forward to hearing from you
You help me as much as you seek help
Thank you for that
You are brave
And you matter
Something will be revealed
Until then
Be well
Love
Me

I know it's hard to accept that despite your diagnosis things still haven't changed for you, but I the epilepsy diagnosis is obviously significant, I think you're getting good care, and you're headed in the right direction.

Med increases will be small because of safety concerns, so progress may be slow. I know that's frustrating, but you don't want to increase your risk of side effects or add overmedication/sedation to your list of problems if you can help it.

It makes sense not to make any other med changes right now. The #1 concern should be getting your epilepsy under control.
In the meantime, I'm glad that you know that therapy is there for you if you need it.

You've been through so much, and are very strong Sam. Change is coming, please hang in there

Thinking of you sam, you have many who are sending good thoughts your way. We are rooting for you!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thanks bizi, I really appreciate it.


For an update...


Nothings changed... yet. My life is exactly the same and I'm still suffering with my symptoms. It sucks so much, I just don't even know what to even say about it anymore. If the medication does not work within another week, my neurologist is most likely gonna try a new one, we will just have to wait and see.




I've been a bit more anxious and depressed recently due to school. I'm failing 3 classes and I hate everything about school. I have no motivation to due anything school related because every time I try I just fail. Teachers always tell you to just try! And I do, and every time I try I fail. I cry when I think about my grades because if I fail my parents would be so mad at me.




I don't know if its the temporal lobe epilepsy or my anxiety causing it but I always feel sick and get headaches in school when I try to do work. I always say that I want to go home but I just can't.





I just don't know. I still don't get anything in my life and I don't even know why the hell I'm here... I just can't put into words how I feel right now.. I have no motivation to do ANYTHING.

I am sorry it is so hard for you right now.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi Sam

Wondering if you might consider this
Because you have temporal lobe epilepsy
My eldest daughter
She is a beautiful soul
A poet
Recognized in the art
Her occipital lob seizures mess with her visual
What I want to express to you is this
When she had her first seizure it was a grand maul
She passed out
Her total brain seized
If I tell you my daughter has been on at least 100
Different kinds of medication
It would be very close to it
What she explained is before a seizure came on a headache would begin it would grow in until she seized
But during it as it was working its way into a seizure
She would get a taste of bleach in her mouth and said she would ALWAYS EXPERIENCE DÉJÀVU
AND IN SHE WOULD TELL ME SHE FEELS SHE HAS EXPERIENCED HER DÉJÀVU

My message to you is this she too felt out of body like experiences
Aware she is present but a feel only she experienced
You explanation is exactly like my child Saraeve
Now a out the medicines
That is still very hard for her
The constant trial and errors
The cocktails
Sometime three different ones to stop a problem she was experiencing
It will NOT be an easy road with the medicines
Sammy
There is a diagnosis
You explain what my daughter would experience
You are not alone
But there is a diagnosis
Be patient
Pay close attention to your body when starting the new meds trileptal
is just a start
Will you be weaned off the trileptal or will they add another along with it
Are you doing homework on the meds you are taking
And most importantly
Have you dabbled into you disease
And learn all you can about it
When Saraeve started her journey
Her first grand maul was April 30th 2003
And it is sixteen yeas later
She is angry
Blames God for many things
She has become very involved in her passion
Poetry
A gifted child
A special woman
We do not engage in a relationship right now
Do not agree with much of her ideology
If anything I am the reason she has occipital lobe epilepsy
I am someone with a specific mutation that is directly connected to her ailments
My family will test positive
It is known fact
Something NEW
IT HAS ONLY BEEN FOUND (the most recent in mutation in the MTHFR FACTOR)
What am I trying to get out
Hold on tight
It will be a heck of a ride
But we know
IT ISN'T SOMETHING YOU ARE MAKING UP

Now to address school
Can you be home schooled
As much as it is for you to be able to be social
Some people cannot and it isn't "THEIR FAULT"
Like it isn't your fault
I have a child who just couldn't hack the school experience
and still needs to get her GED
all my children gifted
Yet with many problems
You do know already
by many of the tests and doctors
Bottom line it is you I am listening to
What you are feeling and going through
There is hope
You need to hold on to hope
There are many who are paying attention to what's going on in your life
I am one of them
I also want to remind you
You are responsible for you
You know your mind like no other
Be true to yourself
And I MEAN be honest to yourself always throught life
and know you will always be watched over
It is so much easier to be real
Then to try and fit in
BE WHO YOU ARE
AND LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
we all of us are precious
All of us want to live a happy life
and this is sometime obstructed by a certain
situations that come into our life out of nowhere
and we have to deal with it
And you do not have to deal with things alone
WE ARE LISTENING
to a brave young man
Keep fighting the fight
Love
Me

Note:
I too loathed school
Barely passed
When I came to America in 1966
I did not speak English
My language spoken is Hungarian
I did not get the help like the Cubans who also entered into the country
especially in 1970
They the Cuban children had two bilingual classes
I had to learn on my own
Hated it

I'm so sorry you're not benefitting from the medication yet Sam

I wish you could get some help managing your anxiety right now, but I know that you can't move any psych meds around because it's important for the neurologist to see how the anti-seizure meds are working. It's important that you let your neurologist know that your anxiety level is high and you are struggling because that could be a factor when she's evaluating the anti-convulant's efficacy.

It must be so difficult to concentrate with the symptoms you're dealing with. Fear of failure must just make everything worse. My anxiety often makes me feel physically ill, and I suspect that's what you're experiencing since at this point you can barely tolerate being in school. I would hope that your parents would be understanding that your grades are not good since they know you are struggling in other ways

It sounds like you'll be making a med change, and I hope that you'll start seeing some results. Sometimes you do have to kiss a couple of frogs before you find your prince (or princess). I will keep my fingers crossed that the next med will make a big difference for you.

You can't utilize meds at this point, but please remember therapy is available to you. Perhaps you can find a therapist who you can vent to, and can help you with some relaxation techniques. It sounds like your anxiety level is pretty high.

Hoping for good things for you (fast)
(((HUGS)))

Kay