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Old 08-16-2016, 06:07 PM #311
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Default Wise you are

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix3 View Post
Hi Sam,
I'm 16 and am pretty much in the same boat at about 10 monthes now. It's really hard to be a teenager and deal with this. Before you think about killing yourself maybe there is another way. Perhaps you could ask your parents to switch schools. Like you, I can't standing talking to my parents about that kind of thing. But try. Or at least remember just a few more years til college.

Did you take time off of school because of the concussion. I did, and it defiantly caused a lot of distance between my friends and I. Maybe you just need to reach out to some of the people who could have simply forgotten. I think being a male with this is tough because boys aren't supposed to be sensitive or whatever. And this being an affliction that isn't visible makes it very hard for them to understand. My friends all think I'm just a major wuss right now and that I'm making it up or something. One of my buddies used to hit me in the head every second period because he thought it was funny, don't know if I can blame him, I act like a jack ***** to him and josh around and what not so he comes around and hits me.
I have had to redirect my whole attitude and can't really josh around anymore because I get hurt. I totally get the whole friend things I lost a lot of mine as well with the concussion but remain hopeful maybe try to meet new people this school year or reconnect with old pals. Maybe ask that friend who is a girl if she could introduce you to some of her friends. Joining a team can help you meet people, or if it really feels hopeless ask to switch schools.

I too find myself suicidal at times but life is worth living even with the headaches. We have so much left to experience it be a shame to end it now
Keep on fighting the fight
So sorry you too experience the behavior
other perpetrate
Stay strong
As you clearly can see it is hard
But can be done
Good luck this year
You are a wise young man
Going places
Along with Sam
Much happiness I wish you both
Love
Me
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Old 08-19-2016, 07:02 PM #312
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Hi all,


Haven't updated in a while again...


I recently had another EEG, this time an 24/7 hour one, where I was tested at home. The results came back normal....



This is good news I guess, but I don't understand it cause I still don't feel 100% myself. The dejavu feelings and a lot of my other weird symptoms are gone. I just STILL feel different, which is so frustrating. Ever since October 17th 2014, I have felt different. I used to describe it as depersonalization, but I guess I cant call it that now? I don't know, maybe my chemicals in my brain were changed that day. So this is the "new" me. ;/




Who knows.



Instead of obsessing over all this, I've been trying to get back into normal life which I have. The only thing I still struggle with is socializing with my "friends". I just finished a week at camp counseling little kids, and a old friend that I used to hang out with all the time was there. We had a blast together, but now I'm trying to hangout with him out of camp and he just always says no or is busy. I don't know what to do... I really want to hang out with him but he never really answers me, which makes me more depressed.
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Old 08-19-2016, 09:15 PM #313
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Try to make other friends too while working on this one.
Thank you for checking in sam.
good to hear from you.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi
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Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
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I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 08-20-2016, 04:24 PM #314
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix3 View Post
Hi Sam,
I'm 16 and am pretty much in the same boat at about 10 monthes now. It's really hard to be a teenager and deal with this. Before you think about killing yourself maybe there is another way. Perhaps you could ask your parents to switch schools. Like you, I can't standing talking to my parents about that kind of thing. But try. Or at least remember just a few more years til college.

Did you take time off of school because of the concussion. I did, and it defiantly caused a lot of distance between my friends and I. Maybe you just need to reach out to some of the people who could have simply forgotten. I think being a male with this is tough because boys aren't supposed to be sensitive or whatever. And this being an affliction that isn't visible makes it very hard for them to understand. My friends all think I'm just a major wuss right now and that I'm making it up or something. One of my buddies used to hit me in the head every second period because he thought it was funny, don't know if I can blame him, I act like a jack ***** to him and josh around and what not so he comes around and hits me.
I have had to redirect my whole attitude and can't really josh around anymore because I get hurt. I totally get the whole friend things I lost a lot of mine as well with the concussion but remain hopeful maybe try to meet new people this school year or reconnect with old pals. Maybe ask that friend who is a girl if she could introduce you to some of her friends. Joining a team can help you meet people, or if it really feels hopeless ask to switch schools.

I too find myself suicidal at times but life is worth living even with the headaches. We have so much left to experience it be a shame to end it now
Hi there Phoenix3,



I'm sorry you are going through what I am suffering from. You are exactly right about the whole friends thing and how us being males its odd to be sensitive and show all of our emotions. I just feel so alone all the time, and it sucks so much. Of course I have my family, and I see my "friends" in school and in camp, but my friends NEVER want to hang with me outside..



I always ask the one or two friends I have and they say no or they're "busy", then I end up seeing a picture on social media of them hanging out with other people. It's so frustrating to the point it makes me depressed. I don't know what's worse, the physical symptoms or the psychological symptoms.



I just want a friend to hang out with when I'm bored, someone to talk to when I'm sad, someone who can make me laugh, someone who I can tell anything to, but I just don't have that. And it sucks so much to not have that in life...
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Old 08-20-2016, 07:41 PM #315
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamG11 View Post
Hi there Phoenix3,



I'm sorry you are going through what I am suffering from. You are exactly right about the whole friends thing and how us being males its odd to be sensitive and show all of our emotions. I just feel so alone all the time, and it sucks so much. Of course I have my family, and I see my "friends" in school and in camp, but my friends NEVER want to hang with me outside..



I always ask the one or two friends I have and they say no or they're "busy", then I end up seeing a picture on social media of them hanging out with other people. It's so frustrating to the point it makes me depressed. I don't know what's worse, the physical symptoms or the psychological symptoms.



I just want a friend to hang out with when I'm bored, someone to talk to when I'm sad, someone who can make me laugh, someone who I can tell anything to, but I just don't have that. And it sucks so much to not have that in life...
You don't have that yet Sam
That someone special
it may take a little while
takes a little time
But it Will happen
Won't they be the lucky one
A true friend I am sure you will be
Thinking of you
Be well
Enjoy school
Love
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Old 08-21-2016, 06:25 AM #316
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First, I just want to say that it's possible that you may be having some seizures even though they didn't capture them on the 24 hour EEG.

That being said, you have been through a lot throughout this whole ordeal and if my memory have already been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. That can definitely leave you feeling altered. You may want to check with your neurologist to see if it's okay with her if pursuing further treatment in that aspect of your care is okay now that your seizures appear to be under much better control...

For me, my mental health disorders and lack of self-esteem have made it hard for me to make natural and effective transitions from acquaintances to real friends in the past. Somehow I seemed to miss out on opportunities between socializing in a controlled setting and carrying relationships over to the outside world. Sometimes when I did ask, it seemed awkward or forced. I'm at a point now where I've stopped trying because I have so many things going on, I'm not ready to welcome anyone into my world right now, but I don't recommend that.

Sometimes depression can leave you with a flat affect, meaning you appear to have a lack of expression to others that makes you hard to read, so you may have to let your thoughts be known in other ways. Taking opportunities to have more or longer conversations about mutual interests, or showing interest in things that you haven't previously, in school may help you break through. It has helped me in the past.

I wish you were able to find a deserving friend who you could hang out with, and who could support you

I'm sorry things still aren't 100%, but I'm glad that you still have a positive attitude... that is so important.

Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. We always enjoy hearing from you

Best of luck Sam,

Kay
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Old 08-21-2016, 11:25 PM #317
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Sam,
I may have mentioned my grandson who turned 16 in February. He had been uncomfortable making friends; eventually bullied. My daughter-in-law began home schooling when he was in 7th grade. He is still being home schooled. He does not have any friends to share ideas. He does not complain but I know it's got to be difficult for him. He did go to a Church 5 day retreat during the summer at a camp type setting. There were 4 teens, 2 boys and 2 girls from each of the Youth Groups from several parishes. He said he really enjoyed it and hoped he could go next year again. I asked him if he kept in touch with any of the people he met; he said they really didn't do that. (So I guess the answer was "no.)

The one hopeful bright side is his seeing a friend of his parents at the Jewel grocery store in his area. He was talking to her when one of the store managers was there. She introduced my grandson to him. My grandson shook his hand. After he left, the manager told her he was very impressed with him. Wondered if he was interested in a job there? Thankfully, he got the job and is doing well. He's been working there for almost 6 months and is now working at the register.

I'm still hoping and praying for him to meet a good friend that he can do and share things with.
Sam,I sure you know the feeling.

Wishing you success in making friends that enjoy doing things/sharing, etc. with you and you with them.


Gerry
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Old 09-08-2016, 12:23 PM #318
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Default How was school

Hi Sammy

Just drop by to say hi
Thinking about you
Hope and a prayer
You will have a wonderful
Full exciting year
Love
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Old 09-14-2016, 08:23 PM #319
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Hi Sammy

Just drop by to say hi
Thinking about you
Hope and a prayer
You will have a wonderful
Full exciting year
Love
Me

Hi Eva and anyone else that cares..



Thank you for the prayer, and thank you so much for dropping by.


School has started again, and I STILL feel the same. Nothing has really changed. Still on 10 mg lexapro and 300mg trileptal twice a day. Currently as I am typing this I am feeling more disconnected than usual, and just don't feel like I'm in my body. My head has a fuzzy feeling and I just feel like I am a robot on f*cking auto pilot. I hate it.



I just dont understand myself anymore. I thought the TLE (Temporal lobe epilepsy) was causing me to feel this way, but like I said in the last post it turns out it magically went away... *shocker*. I feel like both medicines are pointless to keep on taking now cause every doctor I go to says there is nothing wrong with me. And of course, when I forgot to take my medicine for a day I felt HORRIBLE, so my body is now addicted to the stupid meds.




Like I've been saying I have been living life as I used to, and I can manage it, but I still feel like crap most of the time. Nothing is changing, I have no diagnosis, I am just nothing. I am just so frustrated when I think about it, because I have tried LITERALLY EVERYTHING. *Heavy heavy sigh* :/
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Old 09-14-2016, 10:32 PM #320
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Thank you sam for coming here and giving us an update.
I am sorry that you still don't have a diagnosis.
very frustrating....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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