NeuroTalk Support Groups - TIme to draw breath

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)

- Survivors of Suicide (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/)

- - TIme to draw breath (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/226915-time-draw-breath.html)

It's still called lurking my friend but I've sensed your presence. In the twenty plus years since our Michael killed himself, suicide remains a conversation stopper. I find myself a lurker more often, because nothing seems to work as far as educating people on the dangers to family and friends left behind.

We are so looking forward to the visit from our grandson and his family today. There will be lots of hugs and giggles with the little ones but there will be no mention of our son. ~heavy sigh~

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1175436)

Survivors we are
Yet I walk in circles
Wondering why am in this
terrible frame of mind
You know
The unspoken word
Pain=mental illness to present
"Itself"
As I run this circle every day for the past three years
How great could his "pain" have been
Because I just want to rip my shin off
and God knows what I would go for first
This brain
This being
Is having them thoughts
Never to act on them

My mind
My mind has its own on and off button
I do not control it
You would think I could
But pain is driving some charges to that button

I cannot help but tell it like it is for me

DMACK
you represent persons
such as myself
A recovering alcoholic
Of twenty plus years
One day at a time
Bam
I'm inflicted with turd
I have no control over
My Body
I a physician induced addict
Help put me in this dark place
Younger having a drink
I wold tell myself so I could be
calm for my children

Having pills that could take me out in a beat of this heart

Do I then remember
He took a gun to himself
I don't care how fudged up he was
How great was his pain
For me to get to think that for my life
Then the anger of the pain I still suffer
As running this circle is NOT where I want to be
Yet it's there every single morning
And the day moves on and slowly
I realize the pain I would cause

He had a choice
As I fight "it" everyday
And at the end of the day
I made a promise
I made a promise

And then my mind takes me to my children
All giving death a shot
Saraeve physician induced she is my epileptic child
My boy bi-polar recovering heroin addict
My third child angel dust addict entering re-hab
stopped counting
My seventeen year old recovering addict

My sisters both recovering

See a pattern

I am left talking to his spirit
As I call upon him to watch over the family
It's the least he can do
We did not ask for life
The parents I landed
I understand
Does it make it okay
Hell no
I know the truth
I cannot leave them thinking zippo

Elephants are a symbol in my home
Gentle giants
Thank you for allowing my ramble
Love
Me

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMACK (Post 1175432)

Hello Icelander

I used the forum name to draw all posters to the word survivor......

As I said at the start this forum way back in the past was aimed at those left behind by the completion of suicide by loved ones and friends...a place for people to talk.

Then over time people joined in, who had survived suicide attempts, and thoughts....

The whole focus was about Survival of this act.

About four years ago a very articulate man joined the forum and spoke openly about his thoughts on euthanasia.... he was very civil, but was equally adamant about his thoughts and no one would every change his view on life, or his own death.

I chaated and debated with him for some time, then realised....we had polar opposite views on the subject....and made my own descion to wish him the best with his life and I moved on with mine....

Stress is my biggest problem....having bi-polar....and I try like many others just to get by in life the best I can

I eliviate my stress at work by emerging my energy in helping others with their problems, I work with homeless people, many who have substance abuse issues, criminal convictions, and mental health problems.

I have done this work for twenty years

Do I tell alcolohics or heroin users to quit......hell no....I just remind them continuing will eventually kill them......I just offer alternative choices to live a less chaotic life.

My point about. The quote you noticed......

By deffinition survivors, want to survive..........when people talk of alternatives to that it can ...unsettle people.......
Maybe a forum on debating taboos might assist in this case.? But at present there isn't, one.....so at times we all need to be minfdull..that what we say can potentially be a trigger to others..

In the past people put up the trigger tag........then others would see this and not post if the subject was to sensitive to them.

Anyway thanks for your response and I hope I cleared up my perspective....

David

You did. Thank you. Sometimes the best path is to agree to disagree. Although I must say I find many things you post things I fully agree with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1175436)

did not know this! Have a great day!
love you bizi